The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up by Marie Kondo

So I was in Napa and my sister Jane lent me this book. I read a few pages and decided I needed my own copy. I loved it so much I bought one for Diana before I left town. When I got back to Rapid City, I lent it to my friend Mary. She read one chapter and gave it back to me because she had to buy her own copy. It's that good. It's that compelling! I'm in the process of reading it a second time.

Kondo's assertion is that we can't live our lives buried in our stuff. We can't be who we are. We can't even know who we are because dealing with all of our "stuff" prevents us from BEING. It's a fascinating concept and one I'm beginning to believe.

I've experimented with the idea of getting rid of things I don't LOVE. It has been marginally successful. I haven't gone all in yet, mostly because, well, I'm not sure why!? I've been telling myself I should do it when we sell our home and move. But the house hasn't sold, and honestly, wouldn't it be better to do it first? I'm building up my courage to begin...To be continued!!!

Cutting for Stone by Abraham Verghese

My sister Alice Jane has recommended some wonderful books to me over the years. She prefers nonfiction, usually, so my ears perked up when she mentioned a novel she really enjoyed. I went to the library and was a little daunted by the heft of this book, but decided it was worth a try. After all, it's winter in South Dakota; isn't that the best time to sit by the fire and read?

This story is amazing. It follows the incredible journey of how a young doctor and an Indian nun, working in Ethiopia, produced a set of twin boys. They were raised by two other doctors and their story reveals aspects of a fascinating African culture. The story also moves to New York City and uncovers sad aspects health care disparities.

The author's training and practice as a doctor permeates the story. In fact, at times, it was too much for me. The blood and suffering are great and intimately described. There are painfully horrific scenes that are haunting. There are also lovely scenes and altruistic characters who are heroic in their efforts to ease suffering. I found the descriptions of how the twins communicated and complemented each other's strengths and weaknesses fascinating.

I was positively amazed at the level of detail and description of food, people, medicine, travel, etc. that are included along the way. This is an epic panorama of a fascinating place, people, and time.

October 27, 2025

I just reread this epic story and was totally captivated again, especially by the last two hundred pages where the characters come full circle and karma is revealed. We got home from the temple yesterday about 4 PM, I napped briefly, then walked, than dug back into this novel. I couldn't stop! I read all evening and finally finished around midnight. It was so satisfying. I felt so grateful I could read to my heart's content and enjoy the winding up of the lives of these fascinating characters.

This is the book we will discuss at my Monterey book club and these women really do dig in and talk about what we read in some depth. When we met last month, I was the only one who had already read it, and they asked me what it was about. All I could remember was that it was long, hard to witness the suffering, and was set in Egypt!!! This shows how fickle my memory is!

One of the main "characters" is Ethiopia, and it is revealed in all of its complexity by an author who clearly loves this country and its food and its people and all of its flaws and challenges. 

Another aspect of this novel is the theme of Marion's acute sense of smell! It is amazing what he smells and how he makes sense of it. Sometimes the medical details, especially near the end where complicated surgeries are explained, got to be beyond my understanding. Still, it was impressive to think that a doctor with this level of knowledge was also such a gifted writer. This is an intriguing book with completely fascinating characters. The twins' parents, especially, made me feel like a person who gives too little to the world. Hema and Ghosh are such passionate, altruistic, and unselfish people that it's humbling to witness their lives in story form. And Marion and Shiva's complexities are interesting because of Marion's self-reflection and his impressions of Shiva. 

I'm motivated now to read Verghese's next novel, but will take a break before I take it on. I need a little rest from the heaviness of these lives...but maybe not. Maybe it's good for me to be challenged by my easy way of life?

Summer Ball by Mike Lupica

I enjoy listening to Mike Lupica when he's interviewed on the radio. He seems like a good guy, so I thought I'd give one of his books a try. Since he writes about sports for young people, I thought it would be a good idea to see if it's good enough to give Gabriel. Our tastes are pretty different, but I thought this might be one that would bridge the gap. We'll see! I'm giving it to him today.

This story features Danny Walker, a small (compared to his friends and teammates) basketball player. He's the son of a professional player and that helps explain some of his enthusiasm for the game. When we were raising Melissa, I was thoroughly surprised and impressed by her sports work ethic. Nothing was too much to ask in practice, and she practiced on her own. She has the passion to get better and will do anything to do it. Danny is like that, and I've often wondered if that's a trait that is inborn.

What makes this book better than most young adult literature is the sensitivity of the characters, the wisdom of the adults, though no one is perfect. My favorite aspect, though, is the way Lupica has Danny react to challenges. When he encounters a bad coach, Danny just works harder to impress him. Overcoming challenges with a great attitude is a recurring theme which would serve kids well, I think. I guess it's okay to have a loser coach; there are plenty of them out there. I do question, however, that he ended up looking like a complete chump at the end, when compared to Danny's nobility. There is something to be said for being obedient to your coach...not sure Danny and the team found the right balance there. But all in all, I think this book teaches good values.

I also like the friendships and the appropriate interaction between them. These kids are 12-14 years old, like each other, but don't go down any sexual roads at all. I appreciated that. And they support each other in very effective ways.

Lupica describes all the basektball moves and strategies in great detail. And even though I didn't understand or necessarily follow it all, it didn't detract from the story for me. I was able to follow it enough to feel joy when the game went well and pain when a shot was missed. Danny's floor pass also was described in a way that I could see. It also helped me understand that the game is more complex than I usually can appreciate.

I just heard Lupica interviewed on Imus this morning, and he's just signed a four-book deal with Simon & Schuster. The first of the four is out, and I might give it a try. I like how he weaves a story, makes his characters interesting and real, and is also unpredictable. Stay tuned for Gabe's reaction!

A Single Shard by Linda Sue Park

I watched Shala grow into the competent young mother she is today. And she is occasionally very shy. Yet she suggested our book group read this particular book. I was hoping she would come to our discussion, but she didn't. I am grateful we chose to read it, though, even though it didn't bring her out! 
I went to the library and couldn't find it in the young adult fiction section. It was in the children's section! It's 152 pages long, divided into chapters, but it's considered children's? That's okay--I found it! 
Our discussion of this book was wonderful. There are many themes to consider, but the one that sticks in my mind is the theme of beauty. There's power in beauty. Here's an excerpt that illustrates this point:

"Tree-ear loved the symmetry of the prunus vases that grew on Min's wheel. Once, back in the spring during his early days with Min, he had watched the potter place a plum branch in a finished vase to judge the effect. The gentle curves of the vase, its mysterious green color. The sharp angles of the plum twigs, their blackness stark amid airy white blossoms. The work of a human, the work of nature; clay from the earth, a branch from the sky. A kind of peace spread through Tree-ear, body and mind, as if while he looked at the vase and its branch, nothing could ever go wrong in the world." During our discussion, there were many fascinating insights about Korean culture, about the similarities to molding vs. being molded, about honesty and ethics, and on and on. It's a rich little book! I am glad I also bought a used copy online so I can take the time to read it again. It helps to have brilliant women in our group whose insights make me want to read it again... My copy also has Linda Sue Park's acceptance speech for the Newbery award this book received, and it's a very worthwhile read as well. I appreciate her humility!

Flight Behavior by Barbara Kingsolver

Kingsolver is one of my favorite authors. My sister Ann recommended this one, which surprisingly I hadn't yet read. Her book club read it and she thought I would enjoy it. I did!

As usual, Kingsolver's characters are fascinating and their conversations make me chuckle. Her metaphors are AMAZING and often stop me in my tracks. I loved how the story unfolded and how Dellarobia Turnbow's character developed over the year of the story. It was a delightful read, even though the subject was a hard one...a marriage ending and climate change!

The science instruction inherent in any Kingsolver book is a gift to me. (Prodigal Summer comes to mind, in particular.) Weaving science into the story makes it much easier for me to understand and be interested. I appreciate the education!

Now here's the part that I found disappointing... This marriage and family is struggling. It's heart breaking to watch, yet so understandable! Dellarobia's thinking is such that any woman could relate--and her love of her children is clear and palpable. Her experiences in church and with her in-laws are all intriguing, often funny, and often heart-breaking. I was hoping throughout the whole story that Dellarobia would find a way to make it all work without divorce. That she did not, was disappointing.

I know many would cite irreconcilable differences, but I would not. Her husband Cub has a good heart, which she recognizes. They've already overcome so many challenges! She doesn't see a way to be a leader or have more patience with her situation or somehow make it work. That was disappointing because it could have been a road map for a different way of thinking and acting... This view of "finding ourselves" and putting ourselves first in a selfish way is the way of our current culture. There's a better way...See the excerpt from Yearning for the Living God by F. Enzio Busche that I added at the end of my reflection. That's an example of how different thinking might have helped this marriage succeed.

And let me say right here...it's easy to blame one's partner. But as I have learned from life, and first from C. Terry Warner, that when you give a (difficult or unlikeable) person a different kind of person to respond to, they change! In other words, YOU change, and the other person does too, in response, because you are giving that person a different person to respond to. My explanation is clumsy, but I know it's a true principle! It even works with children--and if you think about it and experiment with it, you will see that I am right! It's a wonderful, powerful principle because YOU have the power to change...and hence the situation does too.

Yearning for the Living God by F. Enzio Busche

My friend Sally lent this book to Len because she thought he would enjoy it. This was after he had told her how he'd been watching lots of Nazi/World War II documentaries. He began reading it, said it was good, so I picked it up to read on our Arizona vacation.

It's a good read, with lots of anecdotes about what life was like growing up in Nazi Germany. Elder Busche tells his history with examples as well as analysis of what was going on at that time. He really gives unusual context for the thinking and prevailing culture of the decades during and after the second World War. Then he recounts his conversion to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and tells the stories of his experiences with the church over the course of his lifetime.

These stories are unusually frank and intimate. He recounts his struggles and challenges candidly and in a way that his readers can learn from. I was most impressed with the period he was a branch president in Dortmund and led his congregation in building their own chapel. The way he balanced work, family life, and church service was amazing. It's faith-promoting to read about someone so committed to doing the right thing. His readers have to respect his commitment to living the high character standards set by his father. I also enjoyed the many photographs that show his growth and his family's changes over the decades.

Elder Busche also shares many faith-promoting stories of people he's known over the years, from business associates to destitute and humble members of his congregation. Their stories and impact on him are fascinating. It's also uplifting to read about the many miracles in his life and how he attributes them to the Lord. The title is apt; he seeks the Lord and continually finds Him.

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Here's a sample from the chapter "Saints of the World." Pages 230-233 - I want to remember this example because it's a beautiful reminder of where our hearts should be! And how differently the world views these issues...

In the early yeas of my membership I had the opportunity to counsel with one young sister who was going to get married. She was about twenty-nine years old and was a refugee. She was very educated, articulate, and talented. She had also been on a mission. She had met a young member who was just twenty-one. He had hardly any education and was a blue-collar worker. Not only was he much younger than she was, but he was also much shorter.

I saw nothing wrong with them getting together because I feel that when two people are committed to the gospel of Jesus Christ, all other aspects do not mater. I believe that under the influence of the Spirit, any marriage can become a success. They were married in the temple. However, about a year later, the sister came to me again and said, "I've made a terrible mistake." She was crying and said, "I cannot go through with this." I was shocked. I felt, in my innocence, that there was no way anyone could get out of a temple marriage, remembering the text that I had read in the scriptures and also the words we receive in the temple endowment. I wanted to help, and so I listened carefully and sought communication with the Spirit.

I was finally prompted to ask her a couple of questions. I asked her, "Sister, do you have a testimony of the Lord Jesus Christ?" She said, "Yes." I asked her then, "Do you keep all of the sacred covenants that you have received in the holy house of the Lord?" She answered, "I think so." I asked her to tell me about her husband. "Does he believe in the Lord Jesus Christ?" Again she said, "I think so." I asked her if he lived in harmony with the covenants of the temple. Once more she answered in the affirmative.

Then I heard myself say, "I remember that we talked earlier, before you were married. You came to me with questions about the purpose of your life as a church member living away from the center of the Church and with no prospects of marriage. I remember that we had this conversation once. I hear you complaining now about your husband, how clumsy he is and how you suffer from his lack of education, how you cannot have a stimulating conversation with him, and how he does not like the same kind of music you like, and other things. Could it be that you have a wonderful opportunity here? Could it be that we are not meant to find ourselves but to lose ourselves?

"Instead of looking at all of the things that separate you from your husband, you have the great opportunity to see inside of him and see the hidden beauty because he is, like yourself, a child of God. Therefore, he has the potential of a god in him, but the only way it can grow inside of him is if he finds someone who loves him and who looks through his behavior, his lack of education, who sees the beauty of his character and the beauty of his spirit. He needs someone who treats him as if he were already at that level where he would be acceptable to you. Could that be the purpose of your life, to help bring this man to the celestial kingdom?"

I could see that my words did not sit well with her. She took it like swallowing a bitter pill. She was obviously not happy about my counsel. Yet thirty-five years later, when Sister Busche and I were in a stake conference, we saw a couple sitting in the congregation who caught my attention. On both sides sat children and grandchildren. I was touched by the tender love I observed between the husband and wife, and then I noticed that she was considerably taller than her husband. Suddenly, it struck me, can this be the same couple from all those years before? I saw them cuddling together, she holding his hand and looking at him with a tender awareness of her partner's strength and dignity. As I continued to be fascinated by them, I recognized that she was indeed the one with whom I had talked to many years earlier, who had left my office so distraught. With the greatest feelings of joy, I was permitted to witness that, yes, she had done it. I could now see that she would not give up her husband for anything in the world.

I learned that he had become successful in his building and construction career. Their children and grandchildren were all together, smiling and happy. We must understand the reality of the Living God and what He, through His Spirit, can do in our lives, when we focus on him and do the things that He will whisper to our souls. The things that look too difficult for us to master are in reality opportunities for growth. For me, this sister will always stand as an example of how we can turn a challenge into a great success when we focus totally and completely on the Living God. I wish that we would all learn from that wonderful sister who has glorified her life by not wondering, "What's in it for me?" but by asking, "What does the Lord want me to do?"

Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen

It had been about five or more years since I had enjoyed this wonderful book, so I gave myself an early Christmas present and enjoyed it the whole month. I read my original paperback version that I have had since about ninth grade. I wish it could talk! There were many times that I paused during this reading and wondered, how did I like this part or understand that part in my early teens? And how did my teachers approach it, since I know it was part of an English class in my past at some point. Which one, I don't recall. But I do remember enjoying it every single time I read it. I love Austen's humor, her insightful understanding of human character, and her satisfying endings!

Austen's books also invite me to dream about the art of conversation and how wonderful it would be to spend hours uncovering a person's character through conversation. The way technology invades my world and the world of my associates dismays me. This book hearkens to a time and way of being that I long for. Quiet, regular walks, formal dinners, lots of talking, and extensive letter-writing  all sound delightful to me!

I admire the characters, too, who are able to learn from their mistakes. In this case, Darcy and Elizabeth are the main learners. It's instructive to watch their thinking and behavior change over time, particularly when they learn of their own pride and prejudices!