When We Had Wings by Ariel Lawhon, Kristina McMorris, and Susan Meissner

I had to order this one from Amazon since it wasn't in any of our library options, and I was hopeful it would be worth it, since Ariel Lawhon's Frozen River was such a good book.  We are reading it in our Stonebridge/Monterey book club, hence my desire to read it. The Amazon reviews were pretty good.

But...it's historical fiction with predictable characters, challenges, and romance. It was a hard one to read and enjoy, though, because it's set in the Philippines during World War II, and mostly in prison camps. The starvation and cruelty dominated the stories... And yet it was interesting to learn about these brave nurses who spent most of the war incarcerated. Their challenges were HARD, and they bore up well under them.

The cruelty of the Japanese overseers was tough to read about. Very much like the Germans in another book we read in this group, The Wartime Book Club... This book also reminded me of The Women, and the nurses there who endured very tough conditions in Viet Nam. Hard to read about, maybe good to learn about.

These three nurses were an interesting mix; two Americans and one Filipina. It was interesting to read about the difference in treatment of the Americans vs. the Filipina. I liked that many of these episodes in the story are based on real-life events that happened and are documented, even though these particular nurses and their boyfriends are fictional. Their relationships moves the story forward.

You would never call this great writing. But it was interesting, to a point. I will be able to talk about it at book club, but it's not a book I would ever highly recommend or read again...

The Wartime Book Club by Kate Thompson

This book was my neigbor Denise's pick for our Monterey Book Club, and she raved about it. It's kind of a pulpy, low level kind of read, so I was disappointed. I respect Denise a LOT, so I'm surprised she liked this one so much. Maybe she hasn't read the good stuff about the Occupation? Like the Potato Peel Society one? It's miles better!!! but that's why book clubs thrive, I guess. We each decide what's good or not. I just have to find a way to politely voice my disappointment...or not...when we meet.

What is impressive, though, is the whole back section where the author cites her sources and describes some of the historical ties to her characters. They were mostly based on real people and real suffering. That is impressive, but it got so old to have her fictional characters be so trite and predictable...frustrating, really. And it got very old to read about the hardships and the starvation... with very little about how people actually survived emotionally. I'm sure it was through more than just the library books. Yes, it's an ode to help that a book or good story can provide as a get-away, but I'm sure they needed more than that. These people are heroes, and they certainly deserve better portrayal, more nuanced and real portrayal than this author gave them. Sheesh. 

The Immortals by Steven T. Collis

I was a little annoyed when Marsha Oshita, a friend in our ward, decided to start a new book club outside of Relief Society. It's not that she started a book club, but that she started one and promptly picked out all the books herself! I'm not sure that's what happened, and we haven''t met yet, but this is the first one picked. It's a military history and it was hard to read because of the cold, the desperateness of the men involved, and how it really only hinges on a half-hour at sea when the Dorchester gets torpedoed and sunk.

There were four chaplains aboard, and a cook on one of the accomanying ships who heroically helped save others and then succumbed themselves. It's a moving example of selflessness. But the author goes on and on and speculates so much about what the men were thinking and feeling that it felt like padding to make a book out of a short story. I thought the men's lives prior to the disaster were interesting to read about..but not particularly compelling. A lot of facts didn't lead anywhere.

I did bother to read the end notes, and this author did a lot of meticulous research from primary sources to tell this story. I learned a lot about how the chain of command works and doesn't work. There were other heroes besides these five that he writes about, and it's amazing to read of their selflessness.

The other thing I learned was that the military specifically sought out chaplains who could think larger than their own particular religion. They needed men who could minister to men with no faith and with a variety of faiths. This description of their qualifications as lovers of humanity was interesting. 

I guess one of the reasons to be in a book club is to read things I wouldn't normally read, and this one certainly qualifies. I would have put it down; no, I wouldn't have even picked it up because I like happier milieus, but I am glad I got rhrough it, and it will be interesting to hear what the other women in the group think about it next week. I fear it may veer into the political, so I hope I can stay appropriate, especially now that Trump is threatening to take over Greenland, and that connection may be brought out in a positive way at the discussion. Yikes, what will I say? We shall see! 

Beneath A Scarlet Sky by Mark Sullivan

 I went in search of this book when I saw it was on the list for this month's Stonebridge neighbors book club. I've been invited multiple times but haven't made it yet, but will this time. I was able to check this book out of the Santa Clara library, and I read it in just a few days. It was a good read, not especially well-written, but it's a compelling story, based on a real person.

Pino Lella is the main character, and my favorite part of the book was near the beginning when he lived in a boys' school, high up in the Alps, near the Swiss border. He was sent there from his family in Milan for safety as the Nazi's were rampant in Italy. His faith and strength under difficult circumstances leading Jews over icy mountains was inspiring to me! I loved that part, and Pino was at his most faithful and blessed.

The rest of the book is filled with pain and violence, and the other main character is the German general that Pino is the driver for. He has lots of conflicting feelings about General Leyers and it's hard to watch the continuing atrocities unfold. I didn't know about all of the horrors happening in Italy, so it was new to me. I liked the Milanese family characters that surround Pino, and Father Re, the priest in the Alps whom he respects so much.

I found the ending and afterword very interesting as the author explains the unfolding of how he researched the story after meeting Pino in his later years. General Leyers was a real person also, as were most of the others. I liked learning about all of this, and particularly learning about Mussolini and his death.  Pino's love interest was well described, as when he found it hard to concentrate on his orders when he was day dreaming about her. He must have had a great memory for details or else the author made up a lot of details that helped me understand the milieu and gave me a real desire to visit Italy. 

Overall an interesting read, but not one I would want to read again. Too violent...and dark, despite Pino's and his family's goodness. It will be interesting to hear what these new book club ladies will hve to say...

The War I Finally Won by Kimberly Brubaker Bradley - 8 hours, 50 minutes on Libby Audio

 This sequel to The War That Saved My Life was just fantastic! It brought me to tears twice. I grew to really care about each of these characters and how they grew and faced hardship with such courage. A very good listen! Lots of great life lessons, and especially about how easy we have it, not being in war time. Their lives of constant death, worry, fear, loss, rationing, etc., was so hard, yet it was faced with such matter of factness...truly courageous and lovable people. 

The War that Saved My Life by Kimberly Brubaker Bradley - 8 hours 52 minutes Libby Audiobook

 This book was brought up in our Ridgeview Ward book club as Karen Western's favorite book. Several women agreed it was really good, so I put in a request for it on Libby. It finally arrived, and they were right--it's really a good and inspiring and moving story.

The heartless mother is hard to believe, but I suppose they exist. As Ada and Jaimie leave their toxic London environment, it's interesting and instructive to read Ada's inner thoughts as she gradually confronts and tries to heal from her trauma. Susan, their literal savior, is a grieving woman who intuitively learns how to be a mother and healer. Their story, against the backdrop of World War 2 is colorful and entertaining and well-told. It's inspiring to read how Ada's thoughts gradually change and she matures into a courageous and admirable person. It's hard to fathom the hardships these people endured, but their spirits kept them going.

I especially admired Susan's resourcefulness in wrapping Ada up tight in a blanket to soothe her anxiety. It was also good to read about her abilities to sew, cook, and garden, and to help the children grow and learn. The village people were supportive, too, as Ada became a hero and spotted a German spy. All good, all unexpected, and admirable. It was a perfect read as I walked around my new neighborhoods in Stonebridge on warm late spring days!

Daughters of the Occupation by Shelly Sanders

 

The Kennedy Debutante by Kerri Maher

 This was a gift from Rulona Stevenson for Christmas and it was the perfect "take me away" kind of story. It has so many real characters and is based on a real person, so there's history unfolding as well as a good story. The author, Kerri Maher, is a good writer and while it's not BEAUTIFUL prose, it's descriptive and entertaining. Not banal, although sometimes the characters seem a bit that way!

I'm sure it would be a mistake to assume that any of this is "TRUTH," but it was still interesting to wonder if this is indeed the way the Kennedy family lived and breathed. And how they used their influence. It sounds like a continuous round of parties and charity balls, and I never really got the sense of much of substance. The competition and athleticism of the Kennedy family was interesting to speculate about, as was the closeness of the siblings.

It was a wonder to me that although her brothers' and father's carousing bothered her, she never confronted any of it. Not sure how she would have, but the hypocrisy must have been hard to live with. And her mother, Rose, and her desperate clinging to her religion with no real explanation as to how or why was weird. Kick, the main character, struggles through the whole book about her love for Billy, but because he's a Protestant, she can't marry him. The whole story centers on this controversy, though we never learn exactly what it is that is objectionable. Maybe I"m weird, but I would have learned a lot from a more detailed and enlightening discussion of the divisive issues, or at least WHY the Catholic church thought you would go to hell if you married outside the faith. That would have enhanced the story for me.

Yet, this love story and Kick's struggle to help her sisters and resolve her issues was interesting to read about. It's a story told with a sympathetic view of her, and she definitely had admirable characteristics. It is a perfect light and clean and entertaining story. 

The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society by Mary Ann Shaffer and Annie Barrows

I love this book so much!
I read it several years ago, and I'm not sure why I didn't record it here. Recently, my friend Lyn asked me if I had read it, because she liked it so well. I was happy to have the chance to read it again, and I enjoyed every page. So well-written, so delightful in spirit, and wonderful, real, and courageous characters. I think there was a resurgence in interest in this book because Netflix made a movie based on it. The movie is vapid and uninspiring. I especially disliked the character playing Juliet. So disappointing!

This is one of those rare books that treats a heavy and tragic time with a light hand, sensitivity, and good, intelligent humor. I wish there were more books like this. It also does a wonderful job describing a time and place in history that I knew very little about...namely, the German occupation of Guernsey and the ensuing challenges. I think I'll keep it around and read it again when I want to enjoy a witty and deep read...

The Secret Keeper by Kate Morton

I asked my friend (and my daughter's mother-in-law) what books she especially liked... She mentioned this one. Sylvia and I have a lot in common, so I hoped I'd like what she likes in reading. Perhaps my expectations were too high, but this book was a disappointment. When I found it used in a bookstore, I thought, "Oh, this cover looks like a Romance novel." Not a good thing, in my book. Too vapid, too one-dimensional, shallow characters and luster-less writing. But, I thought, Sylvia really likes it! So I took it home and dove in.

The writing was better than the cover promised. Descriptive and entertaining. The characters were interesting, and not one-dimensional. But the plot didn't move along, it really sauntered and took some meaningless tangents. I didn't look forward to reading it; it didn't call me like a good book does at the end of the day. The plot felt ponderous. I didn't care a lot about the characters. The plot was mildly intriguing...a daughter sets out to find out about her mother's life before she had children. The plot went back and forth between the mother's past, set in World War II and the London blitz, and the present. The backdrop of the blitz and the attendant problems was interesting but not new.

All in all, blah. With a big surprise turn at the end, but that didn't even excite me much. I may give it to Sierra and see if she likes it better. If nothing else, maybe it will give us something to talk to Sylvia about! Plus, there may be more than one book with this title, and I need to verify that this is even the right one...

All the Light We Cannot See by Anthony Doerr

When I was in Napa for the 60th anniversary of Kublers on the ranch, I got ample time to talk books with both Jane and Ann. It's always interesting to hear their take on things, and often their taste in books is different from each other. But they both recommended this book to me; they agreed it was well worth reading. And so I ordered it and just got to it this past week.

It was a little confusing to me at first; the plot unfolds from different points in the past. You, as the reader, ask yourself why things got to this point before you read the why. It's an effective foreshadowing technique, but it took me awhile to catch on to it. The switch, by chapter, of telling the story was easier to follow. Both the young German boy and the young French girl had fascinating lives that were beautifully revealed through metaphor, example, and conversations. The writing of this author is not exactly what I would call poetic; I would call it arresting and beautiful. Filled with light...that metaphor plays out consistently and with a great deal of variety.

I love interesting characters and this story delivers them in multitudes. It also re-illuminated for me why the French cannot tolerate the Germans, even to this day. One time I was speaking German to my French friend in Paris, and the people in the cafe became incensed. Of course this was the 1970's; perhaps it's different now? But this story helped me remember the deep resentment the French harbor against the Germans, and what caused it.

I also enjoyed the way Twenty Thousand Leagues Under the Sea was a recurring theme in the story, and snippets were quoted in the book. Of course I always enjoy French and German language phrases, and these were easily understandable I admired the way the author portrayed the young German fighting his conscience and how he emerged courageously at the end. The bravery of the French girl and her resourcefulness were also so admirable. I loved her great uncle Etienne, and his struggle with extreme anxiety and agoraphobia. I loved so much about this story...even though it was set in a harsh time with very tough challenges...I'm not sure I would want to take it on again...all of the pain and the suspense and the hunger are not peace-inducing to someone like me who likes to read before sleeping! Yet this story was compelling, beautiful, and worth the struggle to read, despite the hardships so vividly described.

Unbroken by Laura Hillenbrand

When I get together with my Laramie friend Leslie, I always ask her what she's reading. About a year ago, she told me about this book, and said it was one of the best books she had ever read. Her husband Don chimed in and agreed with her. Since these two are so different, it surprised me that they both thought the same book was so good.

While vacationing in Robson Ranch in Eloy, Arizona, I happened to find a copy of this book in their free lending library. It was a hefty book with small print, but I still recalled Don and Leslie's high recommendation, so I took it on. I'm so glad I did. It's worth the time and worth the pain...the pain because the descriptions of torture in the P.O.W. camps are hard to take. This book was interesting to read on a very comfortable and leisurely vacation; the contrast to my life was stark! And it made me intensely grateful for every morsel of food I was enjoying!

I was amazed by the detailed descriptions...I know that Louis Zamerini had years of time to reflect and remember things, but still it amazes me to read the details of conversations, situations, feelings, engine noises, etc. Incredible! These details really bring the story to life. This World War II pilot had amazing experiences before he became a Japanese P.O.W., and that story is compelling as well. He was quite the out-of-control youth, and it's interesting to read how that energy and dysfunction turns out to serve him well (mostly) in the camp.

I marveled the most at his 41 days in a little life raft before the Japanese caught him. How he fought off sharks with the oars, how he ate an albatross and used its bones to fish with, how inadequate the supplies were, and how the drive to live created so much ingenuity.

This story gave me lots of insight and questions about World War II. As I read, I kept thinking about my dad, who also served in that war. I was anxious to ask him about it...and he read this book too. But the only thing he really had to say about it was that he wondered how truthful all of the stories in the book were...I had the sense that he thought this was a lot of bragging. Interesting reaction! My dad is great about describing how things work mechanically, and tells stories of people, but doesn't focus much on feelings or impressions. I told him that this author had attempted to verify everything she wrote with at least two corroborating witnesses, which had to be a monumental task! The list of her notes and citations is incredible!

I loved her description of finally meeting Louie face to face. Because she was suffering from Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, she spent seven years researching and writing this book. She worked from home. Her interviews were conducted by telephone. So when she finally met him, after the book was published, it was heartening to read about their meeting. She also felt very gratified when she was able to make connections with people and things by doing her research that Louie didn't know. That must have been a great and satisfying work. I know the joy doing small things for my dad brings me, so I can happily imagine how satisfying this work was for this author. 

It also reminded me about the strength of the tried human spirit. I love to read these stories of triumph in very difficult situations. Louie's ultimate conversion to Christianity was fascinating to read, especially since he was converted by Billie Graham in a tent revival kind of situation. He was able to look back and see God's hand in his life and realize his forgotten promise to serve Him. It was a wonderful conversion story that made the book complete. Without that conversion, Louie's life in post-war American society would have been a tragedy. 

The Hiding Place by Corrie Ten Boom with John and Elizabeth Sherrill

I have heard this author and this book quoted many, many times. I knew it was set in World War II Holland and Germany and dealt with forgiveness, but that was about it. I first read The Diary of Anne Frank as a girl, and so I've had a long interest in the Jews and their hiding and extermination.

This story begins with Corrie describing her warm and wonderful early family life in a Dutch town. Her description of her aunts, siblings, and especially her mother and father paint a rich and inspiring picture of family love, faith, and devotion. When Corrie is disappointed in a love relationship, she writes:

How long I lay on my bed sobbing for the one love of my life I do not know. Later, I heard Father's footsteps coming up the stairs. For a moment I was a little girl again waiting for him to tuck the blankets tight. But this was a hurt that no blanket could shut out, and suddenly I was afraid of what Father would say. Afraid he would say, "There'll be someone else soon," and that forever afterward this untruth would lie between us. For in some deep part of me I knew already that there would not--soon or ever--be anyone else. 

The sweet cigar-smell came into the room with Father. And of course he did say the false, idle words. 

"Corrie," he began instead, "do you know what hurts so very much? It's love. Love is the strongest force in the world, and when it is blocked that means pain.

"There are two things we can do when this happens, We can kill the love so that it stops hurting. But then of course part of us dies, too. Or, Corrie, we can ask God to open up another route for that love to travel.

"God loves Karel--even more than you do--and if you ask Him, He will give you His love for this man, a love nothing can prevent, nothing destroy. Whenever we cannot love in the old, human way, Corrie, God can give us the perfect way."

I did not know, as I listened to Father's footsteps winding back down the stairs, that he had given me more than the key to this hard moment. I did not know that he had put into my hands the secret that would open far darker rooms than this--places where there was not, on a human level, anything to love at all.

I was still in kindergarten in these matters of love. My task just then was to give up my feeling for Karel without giving up the joy and wonder that had grown with it. And so, that very hour, lying there on my bed, I whispered the enormous prayer:

"Lord, I give to You the way I feel about Karel, my thoughts about our future--oh, You know! Everything! Give me Your way of seeing Karel instead. Help me to love him that way. That much. And even as I said the words I fell asleep. 

It will take me some time and thought and prayer to truly understand what she is saying here. I begin to grasp it and it slips away from me...but it's a star to reach for. Other parts, near the end of the story are equally moving and build on this divine love theme...

(Page 194 forwards)
It grew harder and harder. Even within these four walls there was too much misery, too much seemingly pointless suffering. Every day something else failed to make sense, something grew too heavy. "Will You carry this too, Lord Jesus?"

But as the rest of the world grew stranger, one thing became increasingly clear. And that was the reason the two of us were here. Why others should suffer we were not shown. As for us, from morning until lights-out, whenever we were not in ranks for roll call, our Bible was the center of an ever-widening circle of help and hope. Like waifs clustered around a blazing fire, we gathered about it, holding out our hearts to its warmth and light. The blacker the night around us grew, the brighter and truer and more beautiful burned the word of God. "Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword?...Nay, in all these things we are more than conquerers through him that loved us."

I would look about us as Betsie read, watching the light leap from face to face. More than conquerers.... It was not a wish. It was a fact. We knew it, we experienced it minute by minute--poor, hated, hungry. We are more than conquerors. Not "we shall be." We are! Life in Ravensbruck took place on two separate levels, mutually impossible. One, the observable, external life, grew every day more horrible. The other, the life we lived with God, grew daily better, truth upon truth, glory upon glory.

Sometimes I would slip the Bible from its little sack with hands that shook, so mysterious had it become to me. It was new; it had just been written. I marveled sometimes that the ink was dry. I had believed the Bible always, but reading it now had nothing to do with belief. It was simply a description of the way thigs were--of hell and heaven, of how men act and how God acts. I had read a thousand times the story of Jesus' arrest--how soldiers had slapped Him, laughed at Him, flogged Him. Now such happenings had faces and voices. 

And from page 201:

Back at the barracks we formed yet another line--would there never be an end to columns and waits?--to receive our ladle of turnip soup in the center room. Then, as quickly as we could for the press of people, Betsie and I made our way to the rear of the dormitory room where we held our worship "service." Around our own platform area there was not enough light to read the Bible, but back here a small light bulb cast a wan yellow circle on the wall, and here an even larger group of women gathered. 

They were services like no others, these times in Barracks 28. A single meeting night might include a recital of the Magnificat in Latin by a group of Roman Catholics a whispered hymn by some Lutherans, and a sotto-voce chant by Eastern Orthodox women. With each moment the crowd around us would swell, packing the nearby platforms, hanging over the edges, until the high structures groaned and swayed.

At last either Betsie or I would open the Bible Because only the Hollanders could understand the Dutch text we would translate aloud in German. And then we would hear the life-giving words passed back along the aisles in French, Polish, Russian, Czech, back into Dutch. They were little previews of heaven, these evenings beneath the lightbulb. I would think of Haarlem, each substantial church set behind its wrought-iron fence and its barrier of doctrine. And I would know again that in darkness God's truth shines most clear. 

As I ponder the beauty of these descriptions, I can't help but feel guilty for how little I value my scriptures sometimes! Sometimes I take them for granted, sometimes I don't bother to ask the Holy Spirit how they apply to me...sometimes my eyes just graze over the words! This book helped me understand how valuable and life-giving scripture can be to one's very survival. I wouldn't say my life was easy, but compared to this life in a concentration camp, it certainly is! I know I rely more heavily on the Lord in times of trouble; my challenge is to rely on Him at all times... to always be meek and lowly and to remember Him.

This morning I'm watching the snow lightly fall in the Canyon as I sit at my desk in complete warmth and comfort. May I always value this lovely scene and gift from God. May I never take my creature comforts for granted or as something I deserve!!!  This week I had the gift of saying goodbye to Midge Greathouse. Her daughter called Mary shortly after her death, so when we arrived, her hands and head were still warm. As we softly talked and recalled our sweet experiences with her, she grew cooler. It was so apparent that her spirit was long gone. I loved how the nurse told us that she felt there were angels attending and welcoming Midge into the Spirit world as she departed. This nurse had had many experiences like this, and told how she felt Midge was surrounded by great love and many, many welcoming spirits. Midge was meek and lowly, devoted to her family, and to the Church. Her scriptures are falling apart with notes, highlighting, and sticky notes. This is a woman who was true to her word in her deeds... It's pretty humbling to remember all that I have been blessed with, and yet, haven't perhaps shown my gratitude as I should. Midge's life was hard...and maybe our comforts are no gift!? I'm grateful for this morning's reflection time and feel grateful to move out into this snowy day with a grateful heart.

Yearning for the Living God by F. Enzio Busche

My friend Sally lent this book to Len because she thought he would enjoy it. This was after he had told her how he'd been watching lots of Nazi/World War II documentaries. He began reading it, said it was good, so I picked it up to read on our Arizona vacation.

It's a good read, with lots of anecdotes about what life was like growing up in Nazi Germany. Elder Busche tells his history with examples as well as analysis of what was going on at that time. He really gives unusual context for the thinking and prevailing culture of the decades during and after the second World War. Then he recounts his conversion to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and tells the stories of his experiences with the church over the course of his lifetime.

These stories are unusually frank and intimate. He recounts his struggles and challenges candidly and in a way that his readers can learn from. I was most impressed with the period he was a branch president in Dortmund and led his congregation in building their own chapel. The way he balanced work, family life, and church service was amazing. It's faith-promoting to read about someone so committed to doing the right thing. His readers have to respect his commitment to living the high character standards set by his father. I also enjoyed the many photographs that show his growth and his family's changes over the decades.

Elder Busche also shares many faith-promoting stories of people he's known over the years, from business associates to destitute and humble members of his congregation. Their stories and impact on him are fascinating. It's also uplifting to read about the many miracles in his life and how he attributes them to the Lord. The title is apt; he seeks the Lord and continually finds Him.

********************************************************************************

Here's a sample from the chapter "Saints of the World." Pages 230-233 - I want to remember this example because it's a beautiful reminder of where our hearts should be! And how differently the world views these issues...

In the early yeas of my membership I had the opportunity to counsel with one young sister who was going to get married. She was about twenty-nine years old and was a refugee. She was very educated, articulate, and talented. She had also been on a mission. She had met a young member who was just twenty-one. He had hardly any education and was a blue-collar worker. Not only was he much younger than she was, but he was also much shorter.

I saw nothing wrong with them getting together because I feel that when two people are committed to the gospel of Jesus Christ, all other aspects do not mater. I believe that under the influence of the Spirit, any marriage can become a success. They were married in the temple. However, about a year later, the sister came to me again and said, "I've made a terrible mistake." She was crying and said, "I cannot go through with this." I was shocked. I felt, in my innocence, that there was no way anyone could get out of a temple marriage, remembering the text that I had read in the scriptures and also the words we receive in the temple endowment. I wanted to help, and so I listened carefully and sought communication with the Spirit.

I was finally prompted to ask her a couple of questions. I asked her, "Sister, do you have a testimony of the Lord Jesus Christ?" She said, "Yes." I asked her then, "Do you keep all of the sacred covenants that you have received in the holy house of the Lord?" She answered, "I think so." I asked her to tell me about her husband. "Does he believe in the Lord Jesus Christ?" Again she said, "I think so." I asked her if he lived in harmony with the covenants of the temple. Once more she answered in the affirmative.

Then I heard myself say, "I remember that we talked earlier, before you were married. You came to me with questions about the purpose of your life as a church member living away from the center of the Church and with no prospects of marriage. I remember that we had this conversation once. I hear you complaining now about your husband, how clumsy he is and how you suffer from his lack of education, how you cannot have a stimulating conversation with him, and how he does not like the same kind of music you like, and other things. Could it be that you have a wonderful opportunity here? Could it be that we are not meant to find ourselves but to lose ourselves?

"Instead of looking at all of the things that separate you from your husband, you have the great opportunity to see inside of him and see the hidden beauty because he is, like yourself, a child of God. Therefore, he has the potential of a god in him, but the only way it can grow inside of him is if he finds someone who loves him and who looks through his behavior, his lack of education, who sees the beauty of his character and the beauty of his spirit. He needs someone who treats him as if he were already at that level where he would be acceptable to you. Could that be the purpose of your life, to help bring this man to the celestial kingdom?"

I could see that my words did not sit well with her. She took it like swallowing a bitter pill. She was obviously not happy about my counsel. Yet thirty-five years later, when Sister Busche and I were in a stake conference, we saw a couple sitting in the congregation who caught my attention. On both sides sat children and grandchildren. I was touched by the tender love I observed between the husband and wife, and then I noticed that she was considerably taller than her husband. Suddenly, it struck me, can this be the same couple from all those years before? I saw them cuddling together, she holding his hand and looking at him with a tender awareness of her partner's strength and dignity. As I continued to be fascinated by them, I recognized that she was indeed the one with whom I had talked to many years earlier, who had left my office so distraught. With the greatest feelings of joy, I was permitted to witness that, yes, she had done it. I could now see that she would not give up her husband for anything in the world.

I learned that he had become successful in his building and construction career. Their children and grandchildren were all together, smiling and happy. We must understand the reality of the Living God and what He, through His Spirit, can do in our lives, when we focus on him and do the things that He will whisper to our souls. The things that look too difficult for us to master are in reality opportunities for growth. For me, this sister will always stand as an example of how we can turn a challenge into a great success when we focus totally and completely on the Living God. I wish that we would all learn from that wonderful sister who has glorified her life by not wondering, "What's in it for me?" but by asking, "What does the Lord want me to do?"