Back When We Were Grownups by Anne Tyler

 This is the second of two Anne Tyler books I picked up for next to nothing or maybe they were free. This one was worth more than I paid, for sure!

This author amazed me with her ability to describe thought patterns so familiar to me, in her main character, Rebecca. This woman had a busy, service-driven, frenetic life, and wondered what she had become. She didn't feel like herself anymore. Yet she was in her fifties...Still, how she thought and what challenged her, and her frequent negativity mirrored many of mine these past few years. 

Another intriguing aspect was her wondering about "the road not taken." She had jilted her high school boyfriend for an older man who swept her off her feet. Years after her husband died, she wondered what her first love was doing, what he was like, what her life would have been like if she had a "do-over."

And somehow she found the courage to look him up, meet him, explore a relationship with him. I loved how her ruminating and fantasizing were challenged by reality. Her obsession with her weight and wanting to look her best was familiar to me. 

This author did an amazing job of describing Rebecca's full life of service to her family that she couldn't always appreciate. When her old boyfriend meets her family, she's embarrassed by how they look and act, and yet HE obviously marvels and appreciates them. I think this is often how I am...worried about the wrong things! Her life is full and she somehow can't see it. The way she cares for Poppy, the hundred year old uncle, begins to open her eyes. She's been blind to the joy she creates all around her. 

The family that she's nurtured all these years obviously takes her for granted, and she notices it. She's the center of the family in many ways. She keeps the family business and home going. It's easy to understand how she felt unappreciated and put upon. It was good to see at the end that she realized that she really was having a wonderful time. 

It was a good reminder for me of the power of our thinking, and how our circumstances don't dictate our happiness or unhappiness, it's how we think about our circumstances. I think it was cool that she reached out for something different and gave it a fair chance. And it showed her growth that she wasn't willing to be the safety net for a lonely and stodgy man. I loved how her heart softened around Poppy, when she finally realized that she would enjoy it more if she allowed her heart to soften. Maybe that's what this whole story was about; how choosing a better lens to see one's situation literally changes the situation. 

Redhead by the Side of the Road by Anne Tyler

 This was one of two newish books that were both by Anne Tyler and were both free on a give-away table. I vaguely recalled reading this author before (I checked; I read Amateur Marriage three years ago and didn't particularly like it), so I thought it was worth another try.

This was a soft story with mild characters. I enjoyed the character of Micah, the Tech Hermit, who led a very simple life. The people around him are colorful and he doesn't understand them very well. He's caught in a quandary with the son of a former girlfriend, and he acts with solid integrity to help the family sort out their problems.

But the most interesting relationship was that with his girlfriend of three years who is a teacher. She's obviously trying to move their relationship to the "next level" but Micah doesn't get it. She finally gives up and breaks it off. It was interesting to me to watch Micah slowly become aware of how empty and unfulfilling his life is without her. I was hoping he would wake up by the end of the story, and I'm happy to report that he did!

This is a mild story with a lot of mundane details; not a real page turner, but an adequate summer read. I'm giving this author one more chance before I move on...

The Amateur Marriage by Anne Tyler

 I can't remember why I ordered this book. I believe I read somewhere that they loved this author and when I looked her up, I was happy to see she's written a lot. If I liked her, I thought, I'd have more to read, which I like. And her reviews were glowing. So, I thought she was worth a try. 

I was disappointed. This book was mildly interesting and the dialogue was good. The characters did not come alive for me, and they weren't people I could relate to very well anyway. However, the setting in the 1940s when this couple met, pre-World War 2, was colorfully drawn. And the dialogue was good; it felt real and moved the plot along. So, the writing of the dialogue was good. And the dynamics of resentful, spoiled, and immature people were described very well and I could relate to much of that. 

What I kept hoping for, though, was that these people would wake up to their myopia and their self-centeredness, etc., I was hoping that Pauline and Michael, the two main characters, would eventually find their way to love each other again. There wasn't any visible growth toward each other. They just got further and further apart. It was too bad. 

I'm not sure what the author's point was. A description of a family's struggles with no hope or inspiration for being or getting better? Their lives were pretty dull and predictable, except for one rebellious daughter. I don't know--it was just mundane and disappointing. Some critics call Tyler "literary" but I can't see it. Sometimes, when I'm in a bad mood, I will dislike a book. This book almost PUT me in a bad mood!