The Handmaid and the Carpenter by Elizabeth Berg

I've enjoyed some of Berg's other books so I was hopeful this one would be good. I found it in Bismarck's used bookstore and the price was right, so I took a chance. It seemed like a good Christmas read for December.

 It was well-written, and seems consistent with some of what I know of the Savior's birth, but was not inspiring or particularly uplifting. The author tried to help us feel what Mary and Joseph may have felt and their struggle is somewhat predictable. It's a good thing it's a short book; it was disappointing. If I hadn't already studied the context of our Savior's birth and life, I might have learned some things...And I didn't particularly like the way she portrayed Joseph or Mary...

Giants in the Earth - A Saga of the Prairie by O.E. Rolvaag

I heard my friends Lyn and Karen talking about this book one day as we were getting ready to work in the temple. They both were amazed at the way these people persevered in their pioneer life on the prairie. After Karen finished it, she passed it on to me.

It's not a pleasant read, but it's a compelling one. The absolute starkness of life as this family settled on the prairie is unsettling. They worked so hard and had so few pleasures. The characters struggle with mental health and the author describes it in ways that I could easily relate to. I was drawn in to the struggle and wanted to know how they would handle the weather, the setbacks, the loneliness, the hard work, the relationships with the other families nearby--all of it. Although this is fiction, it feels very realistic. It gave me more respect and empathy for what was accomplished out here in North and South Dakota by those early pioneers.

Most accounts that I have read are from early Mormon pioneers. This book is about a family that came from Norway and didn't come for religious freedom; they wanted a new and prosperous life with their own land. Yet the mother in the book has religious struggles that eventually drive her and her family crazy.

The Count of Monte Cristo by Alexandre Dumas

Oh, my, what a book! When it arrived (used from Amazon), I was intimidated by it's sheer weight and over 1000 pages! It took me awhile to decide to actually delve in.

And delve in, I did. I reassured myself that it was a classic, and it would be worth it. The first hundred pages were interesting, with the exotic setting of Marseilles and some wry wit. So well-written and scenes beautifully described! But I wasn't sure I was following the story. There were so many characters and I was wondering if I could remember them all...but I thought, keep going. Don't give up yet.

And then, suddenly, I was hooked! I was so in love with the main character, and I could see it was going to be hard on him, so I couldn't desert him. And the description of life, manners, and customs of post-Napoleon France and Italy were rich and intriguing. Dumas is a fine observer of Italian sensibilities and often made me laugh out loud. The world he creates in the French prison was hard to inhabit as a reader, yet fascinating.

When our hero comes out on the other side of life, some of the earlier characters reappear and confused me. It took me so long to get to the "other side" that I had forgotten exactly who was who. Next time I read it, I will keep a little journal and go more slowly. I will savor the descriptions and enjoy them without worrying about who's who.

Because this is a translation and it's complex, I often had to slow down and re-read a page or two, just of understand exactly what was going on...I love a challenge like that! There's a reason this is a classic, and I'm now ready to take on another...either The Three Musketeers or Les Miserables... I just need a little break from the heavy concentration and heavy lifting of the book!

Leonard and I watched the Richard Chamberlain movie, and it was okay...rather entertaining, but a very pale shadow of the book. You couldn't possibly fit this story into one movie, so the simplification of it was interesting to see...

Daring Greatly by Brene Brown

This book is a treasure and explains so eloquently how vulnerability is power. Brown writes with such wonderful clarity. Here are some of her definitions that resonated with me:

Wholehearted living is about engaging in our lives from a place of worthiness. It means cultivating the courage, compassion, and connection to wake up in the morning and think, No matter what gets done and how much is left undone, I am enough. It's going to bed at night thinking Yes, I am imperfect and vulnerable and sometimes afraid, but that doesn't change the truth that I am also brave and worthy of love and belonging. (page 10, introduction) This definition is based on fundamental ideals; for example,

• Love and belonging are irreducible needs of all men, women, and children. We're hardwired for connection--it's what gives us purpose and meaning to our lives.
• Brown divided her subjects into two groups--those who feel a deep sense of love and belonging and those who struggle for it. The ONE variable is those who feel love and belonging believe they are WORTHY of it.
• A strong belief in our worthiness is cultivated when we understand the guideposts as choices and daily practices. (This reminds me of C. Terry WArner--doing the right thing in the moment.)
• The main concern of  wholehearted people is living a life defined by courage, compassion, and connection.
• The Wholehearted identify vulnerability as the catalyst for courage, compassion, and connection In fact the willingness to be vulnerable emerged as the single clearest value shared by all of the wholehearted. They attribute everything (professional, marriage, family) to their ability to be vulnerable. (pages 11-12)

Brown constantly cites her research and it made me wonder how large her sample size was, (1000 plus), and her method. She describes her grounded theory process and methods in her appendix. I should have read that first!

Here are some of my favorite quotes:
"We cultivate love when we allow our most vulnerable and powerful selves to be deeply seen and known, and when we honor the spiritual connection that grows from that offering with trust, respect, kindness, and affection. Love is not something we give or get; it is something we nurture and grow, a connection that can only be cultivated between two people when it exists within each one of them--we can only love others as much as we love ourselves. Shame, blame, disrespect, betrayal, and the withholding of affection damage the roots from which love grows. Love can only survive tese injuries if they are acknowledged, healed, and rare." (page 105-106)

"Connection is the energy that is created between people when they feel seen, heard, and valued; when they can give and receive without judgment." (page 145)

"Belonging is the innate human desire to be part of something larger than us. Because this yearning is so primal, we often try to acquire it by fitting in and by seeking approval, which are not only hollow substitutes for belonging, but often barriers to it. Because true belonging only happens when we present our authentic, imperfect selves to the world, our sense of belonging can never be greater than our level of self-acceptance." (pages 145-146)


I love her description of "shadow comforts" like eating, binge-screen time, overwork, etc. and advises us to ask the question: Are my choices comforting and nourishing my spirit, or are they temporary reprieves from vulnerability and difficult emotions ultimately diminishing my spirit? Are my choices leading to my wholeheartedness, or do they leave me feeling empty and searching? (page 147)

She quotes Martin Buber: "When two people relate to each other authentically and humanly, God is the electricity that surges between them." And then writes:
"After spending a decade studying belonging, authenticity, and shame, I can say for certain that we are hardwired for connection--emotionally, physically, and spiritually. I'm not suggesting that we engage in a deep, meaningful relationship with the man who works at the cleaners or the woman who works at the drive-through, but I am suggesting that we stop dehumanizing people and start looking them in the eye when we speak to them. If we don't the energy or time to do that, we should stay at home." (page 150).

"Embracing vulnerability and overcoming numbing is ultimately about the care and feeding of our spirits." Page 151.

Wow, this is good stuff! On Saturday, after working in the temple all day, and 10,000 steps plus, I tiredly agreed to go to dinner with Leonard and Lidvin and Karen. Our waitress was a TALKER and she annoyed the heck out of me. I disliked her, I didn't "see" her, and I discouraged leaving a decent tip. Wow, I should have stayed away. That lack of connection was worthy of repentance yesterday! Both Leonard and I saw that this waitress was angry, even though she laughed a lot and then tried to lecture us about cruelty to animals. We missed an opportunity to be kind and I feel badly about that.

Page 192--"Shame can only rise so far in any system before people disengage to protect themselves. When we're disengaged, we don't show up, we don't contribute, and we stop caring." Brown's work on shame is stellar and right on. I've experienced this. Brown advocates "shame resilience" and gives many workplace and school examples. This is the Disruptive Engagement chapter and it is powerful!

The "Wholehearted parenting" chapter is amazing too... Here are some quotes:
page 230: "When we feel good about the choices we're making and when we're engaging with the world from a place of worthiness rather than scarcity, we feel no need to judge and attack."

Page 225 - "Shame is so painful for children because it is inextricably linked to the fear of being unlovable."

Page 232 (8th graders)

• Belonging is being somewhere where you want to be, and they want you. Fitting in is being somewhere where you really want to be, but they don't care one way or the other.
• Belonging is being accepted for you. Fitting in is being accepted for being like everyone else. 
• I get to be if I belong. I have to be like you to fit in. 

Page 234- Pema Chodron quote: "Compassion is not a relationship between the healer and the wounded. It's a relationship between equals. Only when we know our own darkness well can we be present with the darkness of others. Compassion becomes real when we recognize our shared humanity."

All in all, a wonderful book with lots of food for thought and application. Especially good for parents--I wish I had been more vulnerable when our kids were younger. Less of a perfectionist

The Color of Water: A Black Man's Tribute to His White Mother by James McBride

My long-time friend Jack Sweeder has been writing his memoirs and poetry steadily since he retired. He is a big believer in the power of memoir-writing. I've enjoyed reading his stories of growing up Catholic in Philadelphia. We don't have as many phone conversations as we did when we were both involved in instructional technology, but when we do, we TALK. And recently we had a great conversation where he INSISTED that I read this book. "You will thank me!"

Well, I had a bit of a slow start. There was so much to deal with in this person's life that was so depressing, I had to force myself to stick with it. But it was so unique, so personal, and so different than any world I have known, that I persevered. And it wasn't long before this woman's amazing courage and grit won me over. It's a fascinating story, and yes, I thank you, Jack! The window into the world of urban struggle among the poor is written clearly and without sentimentality. The various racial issues of a white woman in a black world are enlightening to read about...I also loved the triumph of her faith in all situations. She gave it all for her kids...and they prospered.

The Adventures of Tom Sawyer by Mark Twain

This delightful little book was a thoroughly enjoyable read. It was sitting in one of the little libraries on the corner of our street here in Bismarck, and I decided to enjoy it again. I believe I read it in junior high? Not sure...of course I've seen the movie, black and white, if I recall correctly. Mark Twain captures the thinking and craziness of kids on the brink of adolescence. For example, the way they flirt and then ignore each other, play mind games, and engage in great leaps of imagination and superstition are all perfectly captured. I also enjoyed remembering that the adult world is completely unintelligible to adolescents. The long summer days and how they filled them was fun to read.

Plus, it was interesting to be introduced to characters who make another appearance in Huckleberry Finn. I'm ready to revisit that one, too. The description of Injun Joe is shocking in its racism, but is probably indicative of its time and context.

The Winter Sea by Susanna Kearsley

This book was also recommended by Karla, and I see why she enjoyed it. It's a beautiful yet rough setting along the Scottish coast, has some interesting historical connections, and is a safe and clean romance. It's a very enjoyable read, but not particularly satisfying. Like Maisie Dobbs, it's going to the corner library for someone else to enjoy.

One part that intrigued me was the way this author wove the present into the past and vice versa. It was really two stories in one. That was well-done, but that wasn't enough to put it into a category that I would ever want to read it again. I think this is what romance novels are all about--safe and fluffy. I like more reality, I guess. And more interesting characters. But as a light summer read? Okay.

Edenbrooke by Julianne Donaldson

My sweet young friend in Rapid City, Carrie, often attended book club. One night we were munching on the refreshments after an Agatha Christie discussion, and she said her favorite book was this one. She loves it so much, she reads it over and over. I thought I should try it, since I love Pride and Prejudice in that same way. Maybe I would find another favorite gem. When I ordered it on Amazon, I was surprised that it seemed so shallow, even in the description. But I ordered it anyway.

What a disappointment. I think "romance" writers are either totally lacking in reality or assume their readers are. This story was so vapid, the characters so unreal and predictable that is was absolutely frustrating to read. I persevered. No joy or satisfaction at all. The ending was predictable and obvious...

In thinking about this, I understand why a busy young mom would want to escape into a pillow-soft world, But that world was not well-described or populated. Not MY kind of escape at all...glad it takes all kinds of books and all kinds of people to appreciate them!

The Development of Temple Doctrine by Jennifer Ann Mackley

This amazing book was a real eye-opener. I usually have to fight to stay with a history book, but this one was fascinating to read. I don't think it would hold much interest for a non-LDS person, but perhaps it would. Most of it focuses on temple worship and the context for how that developed in the early days of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.

The author exhaustively researched and documented her sources. Most of it comes from Wilford Woodruff's journals. He was a thorough journaler, and his early work in the St. George Temple is recorded in detail. There are other sources as well, and the notes section of the book gives even more background.

This book was recommended to me by Lolly Osguthorpe, who is a good friend and served as a Temple Matron. I trust her judgment, and her recommendations. It helped me understand that our temple work and ordinances have developed and changed over time, and will continue to. President Woodruff was pretty clear that this would be an on-going development. He was able to focus on gathering his own family history and doing his family's work while serving in the St. George temple for 13 (?) years. When he became president of the church, he had all of this experience to inform his leadership. A VERY worthwhile read!

The Penderwicks by Jeanne Birdsall

My friend April sometimes brought her daughters with her to book club. They are all discerning readers and I value their opinion on books! This is one that one of the younger girls said she enjoyed, and so I snapped it up used from Amazon.

I was hopeful that I would LOVE it because there are more in this series. I like finding a good series, but this is not it. It's very sweet and nostalgic and the story and the sisters' relationship is fun to read about, but it's not very compelling in its message or delivery. Plus, I need good, interesting characters who are not one-dimensional. The Penderwick's meet this standard, but the rich woman next door and her evil boyfriend were too predictable. Still, the story is enjoyable, and it's fun to read about this family's summer in a cottage next door to a rich little boy. I think I will pass it on to my hairdresser who has a daughter who might relate to it.

Maisie Dobbs by Jacqueline Winspear

My new friend Karla and I got to talking about books on a road trip we took one day to Minneapolis. This book is the first in a series that Karla said she really enjoyed. I was anxious to see what her taste was, so I ordered it used from Amazon.

On the plus side, it's a sweet book, with comfortable and interesting characters, set in an interesting time. Nothing too dangerous or uncomfortable here, and a romance grows between two of the characters in a predictable but satisfying way. It's a bit of a mystery, also, and I enjoyed that part. However, it's kind of a lightweight book, meaning I will probably drop it off at the corner library for someone else to read rather than keep....

Refuge and Reality by John H. Groberg

Lidvin Kjerengtroen recommended this book to me, so I ordered it used on Amazon. I have enjoyed many of Elder Groberg's talks, so I expected to really like this book. And I did. Except for the minor irritation that it feels a little inappropriate to share how he personally counseled many people and brought them to tears and meaningful insights. I need to read it again and see if I can't value what I read more; maybe view it with softer eyes. Our presidency has been so clear about NOT sharing anything about the temple or about our own thoughts, so we're at the other extreme. I need to give this one another chance. And I will.

Counting by 7s by Holly Goldberg Sloan

Super-gifted twelve year-old Willow Chance becomes an orphan in this fascinating story that would be loved and enjoyed by anyone twelve and older. The wisdom on every page is breath-taking! The parallels to the action in the story to the aphorisms is poetic. The characters are fascinating and real.
My Rapid City friend, Christy Robinson, posted a picture of the cover of this book and wrote that it was the best book she has read this year. This is what I posted to her:

So... I read this book based on your recommendation, Christy Cannon Robinson. I love interesting characters and this one had LOTS of them! I love their development and their wisdom... Such a sweet story. It's one of those books that I can't wait to reread so I can mark all the aphorisms that spoke to me. Many, many thanks!

I must have a thing about smart little girls, because I really love Alan Bradley's book series about Flavia DeLuce. And I love youth lit.  This story, though, really teaches a lot about finding joy and overcoming adversity. I like the pluck and courage of Willow's Vietnamese friend and her mother. I enjoyed the learning about plants and growing things. It's also interesting to me that this author did not go to faith in God or an after life or anything like that for comfort or explanation. These characters found hope and the ability to go on by building a strong community and helping each other. This is certainly a worthy way to move forward...it was just interesting to me that there was not even the slightest hint of a world beyond our own, or of a God.  It makes me wonder--do thinkers like Willow, who believe in science, really have no ethereal longing? Or wondering? I'm not sure if the story would have benefitted from this aspect of life, but I wonder if this was left out purposely or if the author is reflecting her own non-belief in an after life or anything similar. I'm planning to reread it anyway, because it's so full of aphorisms I want to capture. But this time I will read with the lens of discerning any philosophical leanings that I missed as I plowed through the story.

**************************************************************

Boy, was I wrong! There is evidence of a belief in the whole circle of life, but in my (usual) race to know the turns in the story, I missed them the first time through. I'm glad I took a slower trip through.

I loved it even more the second time through. At General Conference in April, visiting and home teaching was changed to ministering. I think this book captures in graphic detail what it means to minister to someone's needs. It is a powerful example of how serving others changes YOU, the server. What a gift this message is, and it's delivered with so much heart! I loved watching each of the characters grow and learn. It's not sugar-coated but it's wonderfully optimistic. Here are a few of the phrases and ideas I want to remember. I'm going to mail this book to Melissa, and hope she enjoys it as much as I did.

**************************************************************************

A genius shoots at something no one else can see, and hits it.

I think it's important to get pictures of things in your head. Even if they are wrong. And they pretty much always are.

(A parent letter said she was "highly gifted.) It's possible that all labels are curses. Because in my opinion it's not really a great idea to see people as one thing.

It has been my experience that rewarding and heart-breaking often go hand in hand.

An ignoramus shoots at the wrong thing, and hits it.

Dell Duke was smiling. Unbroken mouth expansion.

Looking out the car window to the street that I'd known my whole life, I understood that origins were so important. Even if you didn't know your own.

It felt as if I were going up and over some kind of barrier after spending too long hitting the thing straight on.

And endings are always the beginnings of something else.

It's probably not much of a consolation, but you'll probably never have any loss this big again.

A leader organizes people whether they know it or not.

They don't think living in the garage is weird. Because they are used to it.

You don't have to watch many wildlife documentaries to know that the herd doesn't accept the lone straggler.

Everyone, I now realize, lives in a world of pain.

The ability to keep your mouth shut is usually a sign of intelligence. Introspection requires you to think and analyze. It's hard to do that when you are blabbing away.

I'm hiding in plain sight, which is often the best way to be concealed.

Life, I now realize, is just one big trek across a minefield and you never know which step is going to blow you up.... Fortunately, I'm an expert at not moving.

Maybe that happens when you've been through a lot. All of your edges are worn off, like sea lgass. Either that, or you shatter.
... My edges are gone. I'm sea glass. If you look hard, you can see right through me.

One of the few things that Willow had said in the last month was that everything in life could be seen in a garden.

And where was the rose once it was gone? It returned, Mai figured, back to the larger whole that surrounds us all.

And I'm forced to admit that being in a room with a teenage boy who appreciates the effect of shattered glass slices of color makes me feel better about the world.

All Dell really knew with certainty that now someone was steaming mounds of spinach in a kitchen that had never under his watch seen a vegetable in its raw form.

...once your baby teeth fall out, no one wants you. She also told me that prospective parents always pick the blond kids first.

The birds appear to have lost their individual intention.

I know that Dell's not a very competent person. He's not even a particularly interesting person, unless he's judged by his organizational disorders. But until this moment I hadn't realized that he's really a caring person.

He had to admit that once his junk was all gone, and the rest of his things were put into some kind of order, he had started to feel stronger.

Del Duke is not a bad person. He is just bad at being a person.

She said that they needed to put down a real root system to achieve their potential. Don't we all...

The burden of ownership means everything has a price. I thank that's why really rich and famous people look so weighed down and glum in most photos.

Physical stamina is a component in leadership, even in the modern world, where it isn't necessary to be able to harness an ox. Because it is still impressive if you can.

The garden is challenging me, as always, to see my own situation.

I don't want to know how you did it. I want to believe that you're magic.... I feel something wash over me when I hear the words. I think the feeling is acceptance.

It doesn't hurt as much because a large component in pain has to do with anticipation.

Temporary. Well, if you do something long enough, you don't get to use that word anymore.

They could hear the rustling of a thousand leaves.

I can't be in that place, because every time I allow myself to think about my last day there, I fall apart. I break loose from this world. I fly into a million pieces.

I realize now that I'm worrying about all of them. It's better than worrying about myself. This is one of the secrets that I have learned in the last few months. When you care about other people, it takes the spotlight off your own drama.

I will go forward into the world and do my best to be the daughter that my parents would have wanted me to be. I'm not brace; it's just that all other choices have been thrown out the window.

Not long ago, I had a lot of fear.
Now it feels like there's not a lot left to be afraid about.

I'm hoping that it will be a woman and a person of color who sees me and understands that I'm different, even Strange (as Dell Duke figured out), but that I still have value.

If the last few months have proven anything, it's that I don't need more theory, but rather more experience with reality.

Pattie says that nothing is for certain. That is the truest statement I've ever heard.

I return to the stairs, and as I sit here in a slice of winter sunlight, two small birds find their way down to the honeysuckle planted next to the bamboo.
They speak to me, not in words, but in action.
They tell me that life goes on.

Happiness for Beginners by Katherine Center

I read about this book online, and I'm not sure where, exactly. A researcher I admire, Brene Brown, wrote an endorsement of it, so that tipped the scales for me to order a used copy and read it. It was an enjoyable and light read. There are some sexual scenes and some profane language, but these are milder than most.

While it's not great writing, it's good. The characters were interesting and somewhat predictable. The plot was pretty predictable. But it was still an enjoyable experience because of the transformation of the main character. Helen is grumpy and unhappy, the survivor of a painful divorce. By signing up for a survival course in the mountains, she hopes to do some serious healing. What's well-portrayed is her inner struggle to change and become more positive. The author also takes the opportunity to educate the reader into a more positive mind state. Simple things like appreciating three good things every day are indeed helpful practices. I'm not sure that "happiness" in and of itself is a worthy goal; it feels kind of selfish to me. But the author cites a helpful (to her) book called "Happiness at Last: The Thinking Person's Guide to Finding Joy." Because I struggle with staying positive, I am curious about whether this book would help...

One thing I was hoping for was more description and relating to the wonderful outdoor world; that aspect of the survival course was lacking. This author focused much more on the characters and dialogue more than the joy of being outside. Still, an enjoyable book with an interesting setting.

Refuge and Reality by John H. Groberg

This book came highly-recommended by Lidvin Kjerengtroen, during a discussion we hosted at Empty Nesters about resources that helped enhance people's temple worship. Plus, I'm a big fan of some of Elder Groberg's talks and ideas, so I was ready to enjoy this book.

This book chronicles some of the special experiences he had in the Idaho Falls Temple from 2005 to 2008 when he and his wife served as Temple President and Matron.

My big take-away from this book is something I've thought about from time to time. People often say, "I hate going back to the real world," after spending time in the temple. I have felt that way too. Elder Groberg wrote a wonderful chapter explaining how the temple is the REAL, real world. It's eternal and constant. Our "reality" here on earth is just temporal and not real at all...I need to review that chapter and remember why else I liked that thinking so much.

Actually, I need to reread the whole book, because maybe I was just in the wrong spirit. I kept noticing how he was the hero who always said the right things in all of his stories and these words changed lives. I hate that. But maybe I was just in a bad mood when I read it . I will definitely give this book another try.

More Than the Tattooed Mormon by Al Carraway

Len gave me this book for Mother's Day. The cover is cute and so is the author. Our friend, Brad Wilcox, wrote an endorsement on the back cover. All looked promising for a good read... Unfortunately, though, this author is probably better in person. Her book only contains little snippets of her fascinating story. The main purpose of the book is to motivate people to never give up. She preaches relentlessly on why not to give up and quotes a lot of scripture. She's pleading, preaching, and redundant. It's disappointing! She never goes into detail about her work, or life, her friends, and shares even less as the book goes on. I'm sure her story is GREAT, but we only get the briefest idea about how she joined the church, how she met her future husband, had a baby, etc. She does give some detail about her family's rejection, but it is more pain and martyrdom than any real help about how to deal with such a situation. I admire her pluck and her courage to stay the course. I just wish she had had someone help her share more of her story and experiences that might really be practical and helpful to others. But maybe it's just me who wants more? Probably not a bad read for a youth or a young single adult. I'm sure there's more grit and depth to this person than shows in her writing.

House of Learning by M. Richard and Kathleen H. Walker

I believe I first heard about this book from Renee Nordquist. Len and I were leading an "Empty Nesters" group activity. We made a Jeopardy-style game about temples and I asked people to also bring resources to share that had enhanced people's temple worship. I believe this is the book that Renee recommended. I ordered it right away.

The authors served as Temple President and Matron of the Salt Lake Temple from 2005 to 2008. This book is a reflection of their learning there and over the years as temple-goers. They share experiences with their workers and their patrons. They also offer some advice on how to learn in the temple. Their simple formula is: The Principle, the Savior, and Me...

Step One - in any part of the temple, including the baptisry, listen for the doctrinal principles that are being taught.

Step Two - Once you've identified the principle, ask, "How does this principle relate to the Savior?" Everything in the temple relates directly to the Savior, his divinity, and his atonement.

Step Three- Then ask, "What does this mean to me, and how do I apply it in my life?"

They give some helpful ideas to practice these three steps. They are very accessible examples and call on us to think deeply and to ask the Spirit for clarity.

Besides these helpful suggestions and this pattern for deepening my temple experience, there are inspiring stories and experiences. These make the reading enjoyable and uplifting. I also enjoyed comparing the experiences they had in a HUGE temple with our little Bismarck temple. The contrast in some areas were striking, yet the possibilities for spiritual experiences are big in both.

The Holy Invitation by Anthony Sweat

My friend and mentor in all things temple, Lolly Osguthorpe, recommended this book to me when I mentioned I wished I got more out of my temple worship, especially the endowment. She said it's now her "go to" book for members about to go to the temple for the first time and that her granddaughters really valued it. That was good enough for me! I ordered it right away. Lolly was right--it's simple and straightforward and very helpful.

What I found most helpful was the metaphor in Part 2, called "The Commoner and the King." It helped me understand, right away, more about the ceremony and clothing used in the endowment. It gave me "softer eyes" to view all aspects of that experience, which I needed!

In Part 3, the author recommends applying what prophets have taught when learning about God: use our mind (know), our heart (feel), and our actions (do). He recommends asking myself:

What does the Lord want me to KNOW from this experience?
What does the Lord want me to FEEL from this experience?
What does the Lord want me to DO because of this experience?

The author suggests other questions as well, and I like them. His overriding advice is to be meek and humble when asking for help in understanding. He reminds us that the endowment is teaching people of different cultures all over the world, and thus the teaching must be symbolic to cross cultures. It takes mental effort to understand symbolic teaching. It is helping me be more patient...This is a short little book but has rich references too. Worth multiple reads and study.

The Magnolia Story by Chip and Joanna Gaines

In Bismarck, there are little library boxes around certain neighborhoods where people give books away. I picked up this book from the box right near Legacy High School. It was brand new, and seemingly unread. I have caught a couple of episodes of this couple's HGTV show, so I thought it might be an interesting, light read. It was!

This young, hard-working couple chronicles their rise to fame in the reality TV genre where they flip and decorate homes. They've gone on to all sorts of other branding and projects, and the end of this book hints on a future direction of helping other cities (like their Waco) become focused on local craftsmen and talent to revitalize whole areas of housing. It's a cool idea!

I liked how both Chip and Joanna contributed to each chapter and gave their points of view about the experiences that led to their current success. They have a great work ethic, faith in God and His direction to them, and a solid commitment to raising their four children. It was a light, enjoyable read. They seem like good folks who love to contribute to the good in the world. I gave it to Sierra, and I bet she will enjoy it too. She told me our good friend Jordan Mayfield is their lawyer! Interesting connection, for sure!

Wild by Cheryl Strayed

I was visiting Sierra one time, and her friend Ann Mines Bailey came to visit. I really like Ann, so I asked her what she had been reading. I figured what she liked, I would like. She told me she absolutely LOVED this book Wild, by Cheryl Strayed. So I ordered it.

At first, I was disappointed. The beginning of this story is so depressing. This woman has lost her moorings...although it wasn't clear that she really had any. Her close relationship with her mother was beautifully described, but her behavior after her mother's death was not something I could remotely relate to. Heroin? Really? That's when I began to think that this woman was such a disappointment that I almost gave up on her story. But I hung in there, and began to watch her learn from her mistakes and her choices.

The story of her feet, her boots, the people she meets on the trail are all captivating. I LOVE hiking, and I was enthralled by the thought of her solo attempt to take on part of the Pacific Coast Trail. I am sure I am too "citified" to take on a solo through-hike, so it was really wonderful to be able to experience it through this author's story. I enjoyed watching her mature as she faced challenge after challenge with courage and grit. It was also a sweet trip down memory lane...about what it was like to be comfortable with having no money at all, and making your pennies last to the next destination. It reminded me of my two years of living in Germany when I was young and adventurous. I enjoyed relating to that part of the story especially. Also, re-living the camaraderie that develops among fellow travelers was fun for me. So much learning happens when you travel solo! Occasionally I get snippets of that now, and I always come away grateful that I had the guts to put myself "out there."

See also September 2023 when I reread this!

Odd Thomas by Dean Koontz

Both Karen and Lidvin Kjerengtroen highly recommended this book to me. They said it was really good, and they thought I would enjoy not only this book, but the whole series. So I ordered it used on Amazon and began my reading.

It was very enjoyable! I really was captivated from the first page and enjoyed Koontz's humor and very descriptive and often humorous analogies. His characters are refreshing and interesting. It had all the elements of a great read! But the dark characters, who turned out to be Satan-worshippers were too evil, and their practices and crimes were detailed too graphically for me to enjoy. I read at the end of the day, just before falling asleep, and this was too dark, suspenseful, and evil to invite me to sleep peacefully after reading. It's too bad, really, because the humor is so fresh, the characters (the good ones) are so interesting, but the evil is too strong here and described in too much detail.

Much of the plot unfolded in unpredictable ways, and I really enjoyed the suspense of where this story was going. There was also a lot of interesting philosophy about the afterlife and spirits that was creative and positive and fun. Like the Spirit of Elvis, crying on his mama's birthday--cute things like that.

Dang, I really wanted to love this book and this series. But this will be my last Odd book, despite how much I enjoyed parts of it. I don't need that much violence and ugliness in my life!!!

Outliers - The Story of Success by Malcolm Gladwell

I often hear this book quoted and/or referred to. It was first published in 2008. I thought I had read it, but when I found it in a free little library box in Bismarck, I plucked it out and took it home. After a search on this blog, I realized that if I had indeed read it, I hadn't reviewed it. So I began reading it and was hooked from the first page onwards.

It is engagingly built on stories to masterfully illustrate Gladwell's theories of success. So much of who we are and how we operate in the world comes from our inherited culture. This book is also the oft-referred to source of the 10,000 hours rule. The rule is, to become an expert, one needs 10,000 hours of meaningful PRACTICE. There is so much good thinking in this book, I am planning to read it and study it. I want to share it with Leonard and see if we can apply some of these ideas to our lives.

The chapter on rice paddies and math tests really challenged my assumptions. Actually, the ideas in this book shifted many of my paradigms...So grateful I picked it up! I will return to this summary and expand on it soon. I promise.