Then Again by Diane Keaton

 This book caught my eye one day while browsing at the Treasure Chest, a thrift store nearby. It was only $.50, had interesting photos, and because I enjoy and admire Diane Keaton, I believed it was worth the risk. I'm glad I did.

Keaton compares her life with her mother's. We learn a lot about her family during her growing up years, and the how the relationships develop over time. We don't get details or a chronology; we get interesting impressions and very insightful observations. These memories and insights are shared via vignettes that reveal Keaton's rich inner life. She uses her self-deprecating humor to describe her attempts to become an artist. In the end, she decides she's "artistic," but not an artist. Few Hollywood stars would be so open about their embarrassing missteps. I admire Keaton's honesty about what she learned from her less successful movies, artistic endeavors, and directorial attempts. 

Keaton describes her bullemia and how she talked her way out of it with her therapist. She is clear about her wanting an audience more than a family like her mother had. She is honest and honoring of her romances with Woody Allen, Warren Beatty, and Al Pacino. There are many fascinating anecdotes about these and other famous friends and how they navigate life. The most telling to me was about Jack Nicholson, and how two years after the filming of "As Good as it Gets" she received a check from him with a lot of zeroes; he was sharing his percentage with her. She is not a snarky gossip. She is a clear-eyed observer of her own behavior and sees others with compassion and mostly, admiration. I appreciated that. 

Her description of her family life, and how she adopted two children when she was older, was interesting. She finds purpose in nurturing her extended family as well. This book was published in 2011, and she's had a lot of commercial success since then. It would be interesting to read an update...  The book left me wanting to see some of her movies again, especially The Godfather trilogy and Annie Hall, since she revealed a lot about what was going on behind the scenes in the making of these movies. 

I have always admired her style; and I understand more of her thinking now. This was a worthwhile read. Her devotion and care for her parents are admirable traits. Her humility and taking herself lightly are also impressive to me. Would I make similar choices? No, I did not, and would not. But she has qualities worthy of consideration, for sure. 

To Venice with Love by Philip Gwynne Jones

Because I enjoyed the first book I read by this author, I went on a little binge and bought two more from the used section of Amazon. I was convinced that this one would reveal to me some of the struggles that my dear friend Cecelia is experiencing as she settles into her new life in Venice. It's the story of a British couple resettling in Venice and recounts all of their trials.

Like in The Venetian Game, Jones' wry humor is intact. Wry and dry and clever and self-deprecating. I enjoy it. However this book got bogged down and boring in the details. Some of the characters and the setting of Venice sparkle, of course, but it didn't really get anywhere by the end. It's fun to read about their culinary adventures, their attempts at integrating into the Venetian culture, etc., but it got a little long-winded for me. Plus there were many Italian words and expressions that needed more explanation for me to "get" them. Still, it was an enjoyable, light read, and perhaps someone who knows more or who had been there would get more out of it. Maybe Sierra?

Boys in the Trees - A Memoir by Carly Simon

I read reviews about this book that encouraged me to give it a try. I'm very interested in the time period of when Carly got big, and I've always enjoyed her music. I thought it would be interesting to read about her life. And it was. But being the daughter of a publisher does not mean that she is either a good writer or someone who can process and see deeper meaning in her life.

So, I enjoyed the peek into celebrity life, especially the stories about Mick Jagger, James Taylor and Warren Beatty. Her stories about her childhood and growing up years in privileged New York and Martha's Vineyard were also interesting because her life was so different from anything I ever experienced growing up. The dinner parties her parents gave, her performances with her siblings as a youngster, her mother's infidelity, and her lack of interest or success at school were all foreign territory and therefore intriguing to me. Her struggle with stuttering and her coping methods were also interesting to read about.

What surprised me as the book went on was how she couldn't move on or recover from her marriage and relationship with James Taylor. She seems to be emotionally immature, even though she has lived passionately. It's a cautionary tale about too much self-indulgence, perhaps. Or too little desire to be a force for good in the world. I wonder about the mental health of her children or her own peace as she lives into old age. I still enjoy her music, but her voice and songs made me think she was someone who had something valuable to give. After reading her story, I don't think there's much to admire here. Too bad! Her next book, about her friendship with Jackie Kennedy, promises good stories, but I don't plan to read it because she's not introspective enough to draw any learning or lessons from her life. Or at least any of the kind that would be valuable to me. Sorry if that sounds judgmental--it's just that we life in different worlds. And hers is not one I care to inhabit again, even in a book.

The Color of Water: A Black Man's Tribute to His White Mother by James McBride

My long-time friend Jack Sweeder has been writing his memoirs and poetry steadily since he retired. He is a big believer in the power of memoir-writing. I've enjoyed reading his stories of growing up Catholic in Philadelphia. We don't have as many phone conversations as we did when we were both involved in instructional technology, but when we do, we TALK. And recently we had a great conversation where he INSISTED that I read this book. "You will thank me!"

Well, I had a bit of a slow start. There was so much to deal with in this person's life that was so depressing, I had to force myself to stick with it. But it was so unique, so personal, and so different than any world I have known, that I persevered. And it wasn't long before this woman's amazing courage and grit won me over. It's a fascinating story, and yes, I thank you, Jack! The window into the world of urban struggle among the poor is written clearly and without sentimentality. The various racial issues of a white woman in a black world are enlightening to read about...I also loved the triumph of her faith in all situations. She gave it all for her kids...and they prospered.

The Glass Castle by Jeannette Walls

My friend Amberly loves books like I do, and loves to learn from them and talk about them. When she talked to me about this one, I determined to read it. But somehow it didn't happen. Then my friend Jack, who retired last year, took a "Write Your Memoirs" class and started sending me his chapters. When he called me to find out what I thought about them, he asked me if I had read The Glass Castle. He told me it was an amazing book and gave him a model for what he was after. He said it was funny and tragic and hit just the right notes of resonance with him. Okay, if two people are so enthused about a book, then I decided I had to read it. It was good to be back in our city library where I hadn't been for awhile. Used paperbacks on Amazon are so convenient that I had not been into our library for maybe two years! I found it in the biography section and started in.

It grabbed me from the first chapter. They are short chapters and they can't be done one at a time. You have to take on at least eight or ten. Very hard to put down. Jeannette's story is so incredible and her life so unbelievable that I was riveted and horrified. The story of these neglectful, selfish parents and their children is such a personal look inside a dysfunctional family that it was hard to take, yet I couldn't stop. Another reason I couldn't stop was that the first chapter is told in retrospective so you know she's going to end up in a Park Avenue in New York City. So, you keep reading to find out how on earth she got THERE from what she describes as her life.

I may try reading it again to try to see the humor that Jack saw. I was so distraught over the parents' behavior that I couldn't see the humor in it. What I'm curious about is if Jeannette intended the humor and maybe that will become clearer to me on a second reading. I'm not sure I can take it on again, though. As I read this book, I would occasionally ask myself if I was feeling uncomfortable because I had always feared this kind of life. When we were growing up, we were pretty poor too. I feared that I was "white trash" sometimes. I remember when people would drive up to our house that I knew we were dirty and scraggly and wanted to tell people that even though we looked bad, we were pretty happy. And we were. And then I asked myself what made my childhood so unlike the one described in this book. Was it my parents' education? Was it their basic goodness?

But since I finished it, what I've been wondering about is what made these parents tick. I believe in the basic goodness of people. These people were not evil in the normal sense I use it. But they perhaps they were... And is the father excused because of his alcoholism? I am amazed at the mother's total lack of caring and protection. Was it laziness or something else? I think mothers and fathers love their children and want to protect them. What does it mean when they don't? I'm baffled. Who are these people and how could they desire what they chose?

Jeannette's resilience or somehow figuring out that there was a better life outside of her family is an amazing aspect of this story. How she did that eluded me, or was too subtle for me to catch. How did she become aware of her talents? She mentions some teachers, but it's not really clear to me what saved her. Maybe the books she read? And it's amazing that three of her siblings fought their way clear. It breaks my heart that the fourth one didn't...I wonder what the difference was between the three who succeeded and the one who did not.

One thing that is a definite advantage of this book is that I do have some insight now into the whole world of homelessness and poverty that I didn't have before. It's good to know there is great intelligence and resourcefulness in that world as well as other things...But it's such a waste, such a loss. I guess I always thought that people's intelligence would help them grow. In this case, the parents' never grow or learn or improve. So tragic, and such a loss!