This book is about a fifth grader named August. He is called "Auggie" for short, and of course I had to order it when it had mostly five-star reviews on Amazon. Plus, our Gabriel is a fifth grader, and his middle name is Augustus, and Len calls him "Augie" when he cheers for him in sports. Too many connections to ignore! I also ordered a copy for my sister Ann, and thought she would enjoy reading it to her 4th graders in California. I haven't talked to her yet to find out what she thought of it, but I think it's a winner of a book.
First of all, this story is about kindness. And who doesn't need lessons in kindness? And it is about August's struggle to be seen as a person, and not a freak. He was born with a double genetic disorder that has disfigured his face. It was fascinating to see the world through his eyes, particularly when people recoil from his appearance. I really liked the author's approach to telling August's story through multiple viewpoints, including his friends at school and his sister. It's also a very current book, revealing a fifth grader's world of school, assignments, friends, lunch in the cafeteria, texting, and urban life.
It's a very moving story, where my feelings for August and his struggles were awakened. He describes his feelings very eloquently, particularly his feelings of triumph. I think this book would be a captivating read-aloud for a class and it would certainly spark great discussions about seeing "others" versus seeing real people, about kindness and knowing who you are, about growing up too fast, about family support, about making wise choices, gossip, and many other relevant-to-young-people themes. It would also be interesting for a teacher to discuss the feeling of unity that came about in August's class. It could show the benefits and joy of a group of students who learn to appreciate each other. Rich material indeed for today's kids...and today's adults as well!
Sunday, September 30, 2012
Thursday, September 13, 2012
Change or Die by Alan Deutschman
Len and I studied this book together in order to present a session on CHANGE at the Systems Change Conference in Chamberlain the Fall of 2012.
Deutschman says there are
three steps we follow when we made significant behavior change. The first one, and the most important,
centers on motivation...(I think Len copied these notes from a review.)
Step 1. You form a new emotional relationship with a
person or community that inspires and sustains hope. It is an
emotional relationship with a mentor or a community of people who sustain you,
and move you toward hope and inspire you. They restore your hope, and believe
you can change. They expect your best, and make you think you can do it.
Deutschman says, “If you face a situation that a reasonable person would consider ‘hopeless,’ you need the influence of seemingly ‘unreasonable’ people to restore your hope- to make you believe that you can change and expect that you will change. This is an act of persuasion- really, it's ‘selling.’ The leader or community has to sell you on your self and make you believe you have the ability to change. They have to sell you on themselves as your partners, mentors, role models, or sources of new knowledge. And they have to sell you on the specific methods or strategies that they employ.”
Deutschman says, “If you face a situation that a reasonable person would consider ‘hopeless,’ you need the influence of seemingly ‘unreasonable’ people to restore your hope- to make you believe that you can change and expect that you will change. This is an act of persuasion- really, it's ‘selling.’ The leader or community has to sell you on your self and make you believe you have the ability to change. They have to sell you on themselves as your partners, mentors, role models, or sources of new knowledge. And they have to sell you on the specific methods or strategies that they employ.”
Step 2. The new
relationship helps you learn, practice, and master the new habits and skills
that you'll need. The new
relationship helps you learn, practice, and master the new habits and skills
you'll need. It takes a lot of repetition overtime before new patterns of
behavior become automatic and seem natural – until you act the new way without
even thinking about it. It helps tremendously to have a good teacher, coach, or
mentor to give you guidance, encouragement, and direction along the way. Change
doesn't involve just ‘selling,’ it requires ‘training.’"
Step 3. The new
relationship helps you learn new ways of thinking about your situation and your
life.
Ultimately, you look at the world in a way that wouldn't
have made any sense before you changed.
When we have learned new habits and skills (Step #2) they now
"inform our new ways of thinking."
The Myths of Change...
In addition to
his three steps for changing our lives, Deutschman believes there are three
myths about motivation. He believes
there are three methods that do not motivate people. They are fear, facts, and force.
Here are some additional notes that we developed into a reminder sheet: (Similar to that above, only using some "reminder" words.
Three steps for change...
1. RELATE
You form a new emotional relationship with a person or community that inspires and sustains hope.
If you face a situation that a reasonable person would consider "hopeless," you need the influence of seemingly "unreasonable" people to restore your hope- to make you believe that you can change and expect that you will change. This is an act of persuasion- really, it's "selling." The leader or community has to sell you on your self and make you believe you have the ability to change. They have to sell you on themselves as your partners, mentors, role models, or sources of new knowledge. And they have to sell you on the specific methods or strategies that they employ.
2. REPEAT
The new relationship helps you learn, practice, and master the new habits and skills that you'll need. The new relationship helps you learn, practice, and master the new habits and skills you'll need. It takes a lot of repetition overtime before new patterns of behavior become automatic and seem natural – until you act the new way without even thinking about it. It helps tremendously to have a good teacher, coach, or mentor to give you guidance, encouragement, and direction along the way. Change doesn't involve just "selling"; it
requires "training."
3. REFRAME
The new relationship helps you learn new ways of thinking about your situation and your life. Ultimately, you look at the world in a way that wouldn't have made any sense before you changed. When we have learned new habits and skills (Key #2) they "inform new ways of thinking."
Three steps for change...
1. RELATE
You form a new emotional relationship with a person or community that inspires and sustains hope.
If you face a situation that a reasonable person would consider "hopeless," you need the influence of seemingly "unreasonable" people to restore your hope- to make you believe that you can change and expect that you will change. This is an act of persuasion- really, it's "selling." The leader or community has to sell you on your self and make you believe you have the ability to change. They have to sell you on themselves as your partners, mentors, role models, or sources of new knowledge. And they have to sell you on the specific methods or strategies that they employ.
2. REPEAT
The new relationship helps you learn, practice, and master the new habits and skills that you'll need. The new relationship helps you learn, practice, and master the new habits and skills you'll need. It takes a lot of repetition overtime before new patterns of behavior become automatic and seem natural – until you act the new way without even thinking about it. It helps tremendously to have a good teacher, coach, or mentor to give you guidance, encouragement, and direction along the way. Change doesn't involve just "selling"; it
requires "training."
3. REFRAME
The new relationship helps you learn new ways of thinking about your situation and your life. Ultimately, you look at the world in a way that wouldn't have made any sense before you changed. When we have learned new habits and skills (Key #2) they "inform new ways of thinking."
Friday, July 13, 2012
Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte
This classic engaged me in a delightful summer getaway! I first read this book in high school, but I don't remember what I thought of it then. I reread it one summer in Hawaii about a decade ago when I found it on Louise Austin's bookshelf. She let me have it, and it made our flight home very pleasant. When our book club read it this summer, I was gone. But still, I wanted to visit it again to see if it still had the magic I remembered from the last time I read it. It does!
This book was apparently one of the first where women had independent ideas and considered themselves equal to men. It's interesting that that didn't stand out to me when I read it; this came later as I read about it online. I was looking to see how rich Jane's inheritance would have made her by today's standards, and read how ground-breaking this novel was for its time. It made me appreciate it even more! I had planned to also use the Internet to help me understand some of the French phrases that little Adele says, but that are never translated. I haven't done that YET.
What I love about this story is how humble yet bold Jane is. I love watching her love for Mr. Rochester grow. I enjoy reading how his teasing and humor underlie his seeming gruffness. I love how she struggles with her moral decisions and shares her thinking and feelings with us, her readers. She is such a keen observer and knower of human nature!
I also found Lowood School's description both fascinating and appalling. It reminded me, too, of the importance of "one caring adult" at school having such a profound influence. Systems of education and systems of class are revealed in such an interesting way. It deepened my desire to return to England and this time, soak up more of the history and culture. All in all, a very satisfying read.
This book was apparently one of the first where women had independent ideas and considered themselves equal to men. It's interesting that that didn't stand out to me when I read it; this came later as I read about it online. I was looking to see how rich Jane's inheritance would have made her by today's standards, and read how ground-breaking this novel was for its time. It made me appreciate it even more! I had planned to also use the Internet to help me understand some of the French phrases that little Adele says, but that are never translated. I haven't done that YET.
What I love about this story is how humble yet bold Jane is. I love watching her love for Mr. Rochester grow. I enjoy reading how his teasing and humor underlie his seeming gruffness. I love how she struggles with her moral decisions and shares her thinking and feelings with us, her readers. She is such a keen observer and knower of human nature!
I also found Lowood School's description both fascinating and appalling. It reminded me, too, of the importance of "one caring adult" at school having such a profound influence. Systems of education and systems of class are revealed in such an interesting way. It deepened my desire to return to England and this time, soak up more of the history and culture. All in all, a very satisfying read.
Enhancing Professional Practice - A Framework for Teaching by Charlotte Danielson
This is an amazing book! Danielson has been working in teacher evaluation for decades, and this book is a comprehensive study of what good teaching looks like. It's an accessible read, very user-friendly. It invites teachers to reflect on their practice, using the rubrics that describe different levels of accomplishment. When I think about the complex work of teaching, I am grateful that there is such a framework to help us get a handle on its complexity. Danielson divides the work of teaching into four domains:
It's interesting that the constructivist theory underpins the framework. Based on how students learn and construct understanding, the framework is soundly based on research. Also interesting is the fact that major themes are integrated into the domains as seamlessly as possible, rather than singled out as separate elements. These integrated themes include:
- 1. Planning and Preparation
- 2. The Classroom Environment
- 3. Instruction
- 4. Professional Responsibilities
- Unsatisfactory
- Basic
- Proficient
- Distinguished
It's interesting that the constructivist theory underpins the framework. Based on how students learn and construct understanding, the framework is soundly based on research. Also interesting is the fact that major themes are integrated into the domains as seamlessly as possible, rather than singled out as separate elements. These integrated themes include:
- equity
- cultural competence and sensitivity
- high expectations
- developmental appropriateness
- attention to individual students, including those with special needs
- appropriate use of technology
- student assumption of responsibilities
Friday, June 8, 2012
Theodore Boone -- The Abduction by John Grisham
This second novel in the series is similar to the first, but with less legal info, and more story about "the underworld" of criminal life. It's graphic enough to keep kids' interest, but not so graphic that parents need to be concerned. Theo again saves the day, and his use of the Internet for his research is interesting. Another good tale that definitely held my interest. I gave the first book to Gabe (age 10) today, and told him I'd give him the next one if he likes it. We'll see... Ann tells me the third one is due out soon.
Sunday, June 3, 2012
Theodore Boone - Kid Lawyer by John Grisham
My sister Ann was reading this book when I was in Napa last February. I really wanted to rip it out of her hands and read it myself, but I resisted the impulse. We also spent some time looking for its sequel (The Abduction) one night in Berkeley, to no avail. But now it's available across the street at Barnes & Noble, so I will be buying it tomorrow.
This kid is both likeable and smart. His family dynamic is interesting because both of his parents are lawyers and he has learned from both. They share a law office, and Theo goes there every day after school. One part I really liked was that when Theo got in over his head, he turns to his parents for help before it gets too far out of hand. Another part I liked was that Theo spends some of his free time tutoring kids in a homeless shelter. I wasn't so keen on his hacking into the court recording system so he could read what happened in court each day. However, Grisham notes (through Theo) that this is not illegal, because it is part of the public record. I wonder if that's true!
There are parts of this story that are just plain funny, parts that are cute, and all of it is interesting. I know Grisham is the expert, and he teaches a lot about the court system through this book. But it annoyed me that there were a couple of places where the story was inaccurate. Theo overstates what he knows for sure, for example, and this is never repudiated by anyone. Other than a couple of minor instances like that, this book was totally enjoyable. I can't wait to give it to Gabriel for a good summer read!
This kid is both likeable and smart. His family dynamic is interesting because both of his parents are lawyers and he has learned from both. They share a law office, and Theo goes there every day after school. One part I really liked was that when Theo got in over his head, he turns to his parents for help before it gets too far out of hand. Another part I liked was that Theo spends some of his free time tutoring kids in a homeless shelter. I wasn't so keen on his hacking into the court recording system so he could read what happened in court each day. However, Grisham notes (through Theo) that this is not illegal, because it is part of the public record. I wonder if that's true!
There are parts of this story that are just plain funny, parts that are cute, and all of it is interesting. I know Grisham is the expert, and he teaches a lot about the court system through this book. But it annoyed me that there were a couple of places where the story was inaccurate. Theo overstates what he knows for sure, for example, and this is never repudiated by anyone. Other than a couple of minor instances like that, this book was totally enjoyable. I can't wait to give it to Gabriel for a good summer read!
How Will You Measure Your Life? by Clayton M. Christensen, James Allworth, & Karen Dillon
I bought this book as a graduation gift for a wonderful senior in high school who is headed off to college this Fall. Even though she is mature beyond her years, I am not sure if this book will connect with her. It's pretty sophisticated and geared for college grads, especially those getting their MBA's or other advanced degrees. It will be interesting to see how she likes it. It's never too soon to start thinking about this question, so maybe this will give her a head start.
I totally admire this author, and have for years. His book on disruptive innovations was groundbreaking. And his book applying disruptive innovation theory to schools (Disrupting Class) was required reading at our office. I didn't realize until later, when I saw a link on his Harvard Business School webpage, that Christensen was a member of our church. The link said something like, What I Believe and Why I Belong. It's an incredible essay about why he's a devout Mormon. Thus it was not surprising to me later when I heard that he had given a life-changing graduation address to HBS graduates in 2010. This address became the stuff of legend, and then became the basis for this book.
The book is divided into three sections, with each devoted to answering the following questions:
How can I be sure that...
I also learned some new things about business in reading this book. Sometimes I felt the applicability to a personal life from a business theory was a bit of a stretch, but overall, the stories and theories are very helpful and applicable. He writes (p.17): "These theories are powerful tools. I have applied many of them to my own life; others I wish I'd had available to me when I was younger, struggling with a problem. You'll see that without theory, we're at sea without a sextant. If we can't see beyond what's close by, we're relying on chance--on the currents of life--to guide us. Good theory helps people steer to good decisions--not just in business, but in life, too."
Notes from Section 1 - Career
Frederick Herzberg's research on motivation -Job satisfaction and dissatisfaction are separate, independent measures. You can both love and hate your job. He distinguishes between hygiene factors (things like compensation, status, security, & work conditions) and motivation factors. The hygiene factors are important, especially if they are absent; these cause dissatisfaction. But the motivators are different--these are things that deeply satisfy us, and cause us to love our work. The motivators include:
The kinds of questions you should ask yourself include: (p.41)
Deliberate Strategy vs. Emergent Strategy (balance of calculation and serendipity)
Christensen gives several fascinating business examples where leaders could not step away from their "deliberate" strategy and take advantage of "emergent" opportunities. Then he likens this struggle to our lives... How do we know when to pursue our established goals and when to pursue a serendipitous opportunity instead? He suggests asking this question (p. 56):
"What are the most important assumptions that have to prove true in order for me to be able to succeed in this environment?"
He then says you should list these assumptions and ask if they are within your control. "It's also important to ask yourself what assumptions have to prove true for you to be happy in the choice you are contemplating. Are you basing your position on extrinsic or intrinsic motivators? Why do you think this is going to be something you enjoy doing? What evidence do you have? Every time you consider a career move, keep thinking about the most important assumptions that have to prove true, and how you can swiftly and inexpensively test if they are valid. Make sure you are being realistic about the path ahead of you."
The second big idea relates to developing a deep understanding of what is important to the other person in a relationship. He looks at relationships in a "job to be done" way. He uses the example of schooling with kids...(p. 111): "The two fundamental jobs that children need to do are to feel successful and to have friends--every day. Sure, they could hire school to get these jobs done. Some achieve success and friends in the classroom, the band, the math club, or the basketball team. But to feel successful and have friends, they could also drop out of school and join a gang, or buy a car and cruise the streets. Viewed from the perspective of jobs, it becomes very clear that schools don't often do these jobs well at all--in fact, all too often, schools are structured to help most students feel like failures. We had assumed going in (during his research for Disrupting Class) that those who succeed at school do so because they are motivated. But we concluded that all students are similarly motivated--to succeed. The problem is, only a fraction of students feel success at school." Earlier in the chapter he gives a business example of marketing V8. When it was marketed against other "soft drinks" it didn't do well. But when it was marketed as a way to get your daily dose of vegetables, sales zoomed. Its "job to be done" was different. There's also a great story about milkshakes!
On page 115 - "This may sound counterintuitive, but I deeply believe that the path to happiness in a relationship is not just about finding someone who you think is going to make you happy. Rather, the reverse is equally true: the path to happiness is about finding someone who you want to make happy, someone whose happiness is worth devoting yourself to. If what causes us to fall deeply in love is mutually understanding and then doing each other's job to be done, then I have observed that what cements that commitment is the extent to which I sacrifice myself to help her succeed and for her to be happy." He continues...
"This principle--that sacrifice deepens our commitment--doesn't just work in marriages. It applies to members of our family and close friends, as well as organizations and even cultures and nations."
The rest of this section has powerful ideas that I wish I had understood better when our kids were small. He writes about "outsourcing" our kids' training to coaches and tutors, for example. Another great example is what we should NOT do for our kids, to help them learn responsibility. He has example after example of what this looks like. One idea that I especially value is "The Invisible Hand Inside Your Family" (page 158) that describes creating and sustaining a family culture. This is great stuff! Inspiring and practical at the same time. The lessons about culture apply equally well to our work environments and had me thinking about how to improve that as well. He reminds us that whether we mindfully create the kind of culture we want or whether we just let it happen, culture WILL form. Why would we not want to create the kind we want!? (It takes a lot of work and requires consistency, but is well worth it.)
Section 3 - Staying Out of Jail
This is the shortest section of the book and one that I am still wondering about. He writes eloquently about holding to your purpose and standards. He reminds us to be consistent in keeping our commitments or personal standards of integrity and that it is easier to keep them 100% of the time than it is to keep them 98% of the time. Life is a never-ending series of "extenuating circumstances" that we will forever be manipulating once we start compromising. I think this is wonderful advice but I am wondering about where to draw the line. I do not want to be a slave to my standards and be inflexible. I'm going to have to think this over and decide what is really important to be uncompromising about and what to be flexible about.
The Epilogue gives some help with the foregoing dilemma. He recommends developing a purpose, and for him that is a three-part purpose. When one's purpose is clear, then I think the dilemma about what you will and won't bend on also becomes clear.
The 3 parts of purpose (p. 195):
1. likeness - what you hope you will build; what that looks like
2. commitment - to the likeness you will build
3. metrics - by which you will measure your progress
On page 196, he describes this process for a business: "These three parts comprise a company's purpose. Companies that aspire to positive impact must never leave their purpose to chance. Worthy purposes rarely emerge inadvertently; the world is too full of mirage, paradox, and uncertainty to leave this to fate. Purpose must be deliberately conceived and chosen, and then pursued. When that is in place, however, then how the company gets there is typically emergent--as opportunities and challenges emerge and are pursued. The greatest corporate leaders are conscious of the power of purpose in helping their companies make their mark on the world." He then likens this process to us as individuals. The type of person we want to become should not be left to chance! But how we become that person will be an emergent process. And then he reminds us that this is a process, not an event. He took years to fully understand his own purpose.
After discussing different parts of his life, he shares how these contributed to his distilled likeness of what he wants to become: (p. 199)
The acknowledgements at the end of the book reveal a lot about the three authors. Christensen shares some of his health issues that show how his co-authors supported him, and his co-authors describe how Christensen is in "real life." Reading this part made me realize that this author is authentic in living what he espouses in the book. Good stuff!
I totally admire this author, and have for years. His book on disruptive innovations was groundbreaking. And his book applying disruptive innovation theory to schools (Disrupting Class) was required reading at our office. I didn't realize until later, when I saw a link on his Harvard Business School webpage, that Christensen was a member of our church. The link said something like, What I Believe and Why I Belong. It's an incredible essay about why he's a devout Mormon. Thus it was not surprising to me later when I heard that he had given a life-changing graduation address to HBS graduates in 2010. This address became the stuff of legend, and then became the basis for this book.
The book is divided into three sections, with each devoted to answering the following questions:
How can I be sure that...
- I will be successful and happy in my career?
- My relationships with my spouse, my children, and my extended family and close friends become an enduring source of happiness?
- I live a life of integrity--and stay out of jail?
I also learned some new things about business in reading this book. Sometimes I felt the applicability to a personal life from a business theory was a bit of a stretch, but overall, the stories and theories are very helpful and applicable. He writes (p.17): "These theories are powerful tools. I have applied many of them to my own life; others I wish I'd had available to me when I was younger, struggling with a problem. You'll see that without theory, we're at sea without a sextant. If we can't see beyond what's close by, we're relying on chance--on the currents of life--to guide us. Good theory helps people steer to good decisions--not just in business, but in life, too."
Notes from Section 1 - Career
Frederick Herzberg's research on motivation -Job satisfaction and dissatisfaction are separate, independent measures. You can both love and hate your job. He distinguishes between hygiene factors (things like compensation, status, security, & work conditions) and motivation factors. The hygiene factors are important, especially if they are absent; these cause dissatisfaction. But the motivators are different--these are things that deeply satisfy us, and cause us to love our work. The motivators include:
- challenging work
- recognition
- responsibility
- personal growth
The kinds of questions you should ask yourself include: (p.41)
- Is this work meaningful to me?
- Is this job going to give me a chance to develop?
- Am I going to learn new things?
- Will I have an opportunity for recognition and achievement?
- Am I going to be given responsibility?
**************
Deliberate Strategy vs. Emergent Strategy (balance of calculation and serendipity)
Christensen gives several fascinating business examples where leaders could not step away from their "deliberate" strategy and take advantage of "emergent" opportunities. Then he likens this struggle to our lives... How do we know when to pursue our established goals and when to pursue a serendipitous opportunity instead? He suggests asking this question (p. 56):
"What are the most important assumptions that have to prove true in order for me to be able to succeed in this environment?"
He then says you should list these assumptions and ask if they are within your control. "It's also important to ask yourself what assumptions have to prove true for you to be happy in the choice you are contemplating. Are you basing your position on extrinsic or intrinsic motivators? Why do you think this is going to be something you enjoy doing? What evidence do you have? Every time you consider a career move, keep thinking about the most important assumptions that have to prove true, and how you can swiftly and inexpensively test if they are valid. Make sure you are being realistic about the path ahead of you."
***********************
The last "big idea" in Section 1 has to do with resource allocation. It was a strong reminder to me that where I spend my time, energy, and money makes an important statement about what matters most to me. Christensen encourages us to compare our strategy (our values) to where we spend our time, talents, energy, and money and see how well they are aligned. Simple and powerful.
Section 2 - Relationships
The first big idea in this section relates to investing early in things that pay off later. Later it's too late. He relates this especially well to raising children and research on even infants needing to hear intelligent language and communication.
The second big idea relates to developing a deep understanding of what is important to the other person in a relationship. He looks at relationships in a "job to be done" way. He uses the example of schooling with kids...(p. 111): "The two fundamental jobs that children need to do are to feel successful and to have friends--every day. Sure, they could hire school to get these jobs done. Some achieve success and friends in the classroom, the band, the math club, or the basketball team. But to feel successful and have friends, they could also drop out of school and join a gang, or buy a car and cruise the streets. Viewed from the perspective of jobs, it becomes very clear that schools don't often do these jobs well at all--in fact, all too often, schools are structured to help most students feel like failures. We had assumed going in (during his research for Disrupting Class) that those who succeed at school do so because they are motivated. But we concluded that all students are similarly motivated--to succeed. The problem is, only a fraction of students feel success at school." Earlier in the chapter he gives a business example of marketing V8. When it was marketed against other "soft drinks" it didn't do well. But when it was marketed as a way to get your daily dose of vegetables, sales zoomed. Its "job to be done" was different. There's also a great story about milkshakes!
On page 115 - "This may sound counterintuitive, but I deeply believe that the path to happiness in a relationship is not just about finding someone who you think is going to make you happy. Rather, the reverse is equally true: the path to happiness is about finding someone who you want to make happy, someone whose happiness is worth devoting yourself to. If what causes us to fall deeply in love is mutually understanding and then doing each other's job to be done, then I have observed that what cements that commitment is the extent to which I sacrifice myself to help her succeed and for her to be happy." He continues...
"This principle--that sacrifice deepens our commitment--doesn't just work in marriages. It applies to members of our family and close friends, as well as organizations and even cultures and nations."
The rest of this section has powerful ideas that I wish I had understood better when our kids were small. He writes about "outsourcing" our kids' training to coaches and tutors, for example. Another great example is what we should NOT do for our kids, to help them learn responsibility. He has example after example of what this looks like. One idea that I especially value is "The Invisible Hand Inside Your Family" (page 158) that describes creating and sustaining a family culture. This is great stuff! Inspiring and practical at the same time. The lessons about culture apply equally well to our work environments and had me thinking about how to improve that as well. He reminds us that whether we mindfully create the kind of culture we want or whether we just let it happen, culture WILL form. Why would we not want to create the kind we want!? (It takes a lot of work and requires consistency, but is well worth it.)
Section 3 - Staying Out of Jail
This is the shortest section of the book and one that I am still wondering about. He writes eloquently about holding to your purpose and standards. He reminds us to be consistent in keeping our commitments or personal standards of integrity and that it is easier to keep them 100% of the time than it is to keep them 98% of the time. Life is a never-ending series of "extenuating circumstances" that we will forever be manipulating once we start compromising. I think this is wonderful advice but I am wondering about where to draw the line. I do not want to be a slave to my standards and be inflexible. I'm going to have to think this over and decide what is really important to be uncompromising about and what to be flexible about.
The Epilogue gives some help with the foregoing dilemma. He recommends developing a purpose, and for him that is a three-part purpose. When one's purpose is clear, then I think the dilemma about what you will and won't bend on also becomes clear.
The 3 parts of purpose (p. 195):
1. likeness - what you hope you will build; what that looks like
2. commitment - to the likeness you will build
3. metrics - by which you will measure your progress
On page 196, he describes this process for a business: "These three parts comprise a company's purpose. Companies that aspire to positive impact must never leave their purpose to chance. Worthy purposes rarely emerge inadvertently; the world is too full of mirage, paradox, and uncertainty to leave this to fate. Purpose must be deliberately conceived and chosen, and then pursued. When that is in place, however, then how the company gets there is typically emergent--as opportunities and challenges emerge and are pursued. The greatest corporate leaders are conscious of the power of purpose in helping their companies make their mark on the world." He then likens this process to us as individuals. The type of person we want to become should not be left to chance! But how we become that person will be an emergent process. And then he reminds us that this is a process, not an event. He took years to fully understand his own purpose.
After discussing different parts of his life, he shares how these contributed to his distilled likeness of what he wants to become: (p. 199)
- a man who is dedicated to helping improve the lives of other people
- a kind, honest, forgiving, and selfless husband, father, and friend
- a man who just doesn't believe in God, but who believes God
The acknowledgements at the end of the book reveal a lot about the three authors. Christensen shares some of his health issues that show how his co-authors supported him, and his co-authors describe how Christensen is in "real life." Reading this part made me realize that this author is authentic in living what he espouses in the book. Good stuff!
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