This very dense book was the perfect traveling companion for our holiday trip to Napa and Kailua. Before leaving South Dakota, I asked Sierra for some recommendations. She had this particular book, so I took it! I have always enjoyed Richard Russo, and was first introduced to him by my mother, who was a real fan. This story was intriguing, interesting, had the usual complex characters, and an interesting plot. I enjoyed it because it always held my interest, but wasn't such a page-turner that I resisted sleep to keep going. And a vacation book should be just that for me!
I'm not sure I would want to read it again...but there were parts that were almost lyrical. I was entranced by how accurately Russo described aspects of the aging process. And how we look back over time to see how and where we might have erred or seen things through a narrow view. Most enjoyable. Unfortunately, though, it's been a long time since I read it now (I'm way behind on this blog!) and I wish I remembered more about how I related to it.
Monday, December 30, 2013
Sunday, December 8, 2013
Still Life by Louise Penny
At our Laramie girls' reunion in November, my friend Susan recommended this author. Louise Penny has written a whole series and this is her first. One reviewer calls it a "cozy murder mystery" and it is. That's a good description! The characters are cozy and you want to move to Three Pines and live amongst them! I especially liked Inspector Gamache... And I also enjoyed the Canadian setting.
The perfect read for pleasure...light, fun, funny, good dialogue, and colorful, local characters.
The perfect read for pleasure...light, fun, funny, good dialogue, and colorful, local characters.
Saturday, November 16, 2013
W Is for Wasted by Sue Grafton
This latest addition to the series made me laugh more than any previous one. I marvel at Grafton's ability to capture quirky little moments and subtleties that crack me up, one after another! Even though several of the characters featured in Wasted are homeless and addicted, the story is NOT a downer. It also features the return of some very attractive Kinsey boyfriends. I enjoyed reading about her careful defensive maneuvers to protect herself. She has become less guarded over the years I've been reading her... This novel introduces more of her relatives and she's slightly less prickly as time goes on. This Grafton is simply amazing. And I love revisiting the 80's and the time before cell phones and ubiquitous computer technology. It's nice to remember how things were, not so long ago.
I was able to savor this novel with somewhat more control than I have previous ones. It did not take over my life; but I did love returning to it like a sweet treat, again and again. This one was also more clean in language and behavior than occasional other novels in the series. I appreciated the cleaner environment!
I was able to savor this novel with somewhat more control than I have previous ones. It did not take over my life; but I did love returning to it like a sweet treat, again and again. This one was also more clean in language and behavior than occasional other novels in the series. I appreciated the cleaner environment!
REREAD
June 2022
What a fun reread!
I just also reread my review (above) and still concur that it was a delightful little romp with fun moments and fascinating characters. I'm so sorry that Grafton died before she was able to finish her alphabet series, but, as her family said, 'For us the alphabet stops at Y." I think I'll hunt up some of her others and revisit those as well. She can be rather uncomfortably graphic, so I'll have to watch out for those...
It was always fun to share these books with Melissa who enjoyed them as much as I did...
REREAD
April 2023
I might not have taken this one on again, but this year I'm reading the whole series from A through Y, and I didn't want to break up my continuity. I did remember a lot of what was going to happen next, but that didn't deter from my enjoyment of the humor, the characters, or the plot. And it feels good to know that Kinsey will have plenty of money in retirement!
Tuesday, July 30, 2013
God's Hotel by Victoria Sweet
As a Courage to Teach facilitator, I am on a listserv with other facilitators, some of whom support the health professions. This book was recommended on the listserv and it sounded intriguing. It was!
It's the story, from a doctor's point of view, of a hospital for the poor, in San Francisco. The hospital is called Laguna Honda Hospital, and its story takes us through the political issues, the economic issues, and many others associated with health in our culture. It's a fascinating and often depressing read. Sweet tells the story of medicine through her patients, and since most of them are homeless, their stories are often bleak. The stories of how our system fails them is so sad. And yet, there are also great heroes in this book, and their commitment is inspiring.
This doctor also studies the medical practices of an earlier time, and learns to see great value in viewing the body as a garden to be tended. The special care, caring, and rest all contribute their healing powers. She ruminates on the benefits of viewing the body as a whole, and the entire book leaves one longing for that kind of medical practice. She also (somewhat peripherally) traces the development of medical technology and how, in many cases, it dehumanizes medical practice.
I think anyone in our society would appreciate this book, but most especially someone in medicine. I'm going to give it to a doctor friend of mine, who has two sons-in-law who are also training to become doctors. I think it would be good food for thought for all of them. Plus, I'd be curious as to their reaction. However, it's a pretty long and heavy read, and may be too much for over-worked med students!
The one thing I would hope everyone would glean, though, is the value of being very present to each patient. The way Sweet describes this and what she learns is fascinating. Another fascinating aspect is her description of her learning as she periodically takes a break from the hospital to continue a pilgrimage in Spain where her spiritual learning grows. There are parts of her descriptions that read like poetry. And you have to admire her dedication...
One of the most memorable parts of the book is a several page description of a day in her pilgrimage where she meets a group of other pilgrims. Her description of --I don't even know what to call it!--stopped me in my tracks! I've had similar thoughts...and more so lately as I contemplate leaving the formal world of work. What is my unique mark on the world -- or am I like everyone else, in many ways. Anyway, what follows intrigues me still, and begins on page 295 of the paperback version of this book:
During all of this--my return to the admitting ward, Proposition D, Chambers--Rosalind and I continued our pilgrimage to Santiago de Compostela.
The third section of the pilgrimage goes over the Pyrenees and halfway across Spain.That walk was even more varied than the first two, and there were many more pilgrims. What I took back to the hospital that third year was the day we got ahead of "our group."
Not that we had a formal group. Rosalind and I traveled as the two of us; nevertheless, groups formed, just as they had for Chaucer at the inn of The Canterbury Tales. Because, starting out from the same place every day, most people walk about the same distance--a kilometer every fifteen minutes, or about two miles an hour. Some walk quickly, arrive at their destination early, and take a siesta or drink a beer. Others take their time, though they still arrive at the same destination by the end of the day. So groups naturally form: the two Americans, the French singers, the flirtatious divorcee, the talkative Spaniards, the friendly Dane, the two serious Germans.
But that particular day we somehow got ahead of "our" group--a whole day ahead, though we didn't know it. That evening we went out for dinner, sat down at a table, and ordered. As we waited for our meal, I noticed that right next to us, at the next table, were two other American women--pilgrims just about our age. They even looked kind of like us. Then I sat back in my chair and looked around. Sure enough. Over there were the two somber German pilgrims, engaged in their serious discussion, except they were not our serious German pilgrims. There was the French singing group--true, they were Belgian and they didn't sing but played recorders, but still. Way in the back was a dour Norwegian, taking the place of our friendly Dane. And the little group of Spaniards, talking loudly, just not our Spaniards.
It was uncanny. It was a whole group of pilgrims traveling together, just like our group of pilgrims, but not our group of pilgrims. All the time I'd thought we were unique, walking on the pilgrim path; I thought it was our pilgrim path, walked by us for the first time, opening its adventures, stumbles, and stones for the first time--to us. But no. Ahead of us, all the time, was a near-identical group, and, doubtless, behind us, too. For lo and behold, there "they"--that is, "we"--were, in the restaurant that night, a version of ourselves and our group. Unaware that just one day's walk behind them were their adequate replacements. And, two days ahead of them, and two days behind them, too.
That is what I brought back to the hospital that year.
I'd already begun to realize something like that. On the admitting ward, I'd noticed there was a way in which my patients were almost, if not quite, interchangeable. I always had a kind of a "group," it seemed: two Bad Boys, one Bad Girl, one querulous old woman, one stroked-out Chinese, one aging hobo, one new and miscellaneous. But after that third year of the pilgrimage, I began to see that it was also true about the nurses and the doctors and everyone else at the hospital. My group, individual as each of its members was--Dr. Jeffers, Dr. Fintner, Dr. Romero, Dr. Kay, Larissa, Christina, Mr. Conley, even Dr. S.--was not unique. After us, as before us, would assemble some other group, with our approximate equivalents. It might be in a different building, in a new Laguna Honda, even in a a different century, but such a group would arise; the nature of the hospital required it.
My patients and I and the doctors and nurses and administrators were just as accidental a group as a group of pilgrims on their way.
I found that it be a a very relaxing thought. It meant I was off the hook. If I weren't the perfect Dr. S this time--well, eventually someone would come along who would be.
It also meant that the parts we were playing were, in some sense, parts; as if this time, I'll be doctor and you'll be patient; next time, we'll switch. And so, after that third section of the pilgrimage, I began to look much more closely into the faces and eyes of my patients and the janitors and the nurses and the bus drivers. Which parts were they playing? I wondered. And I found they were looking back at me in the same searching, intimate way.
It's the story, from a doctor's point of view, of a hospital for the poor, in San Francisco. The hospital is called Laguna Honda Hospital, and its story takes us through the political issues, the economic issues, and many others associated with health in our culture. It's a fascinating and often depressing read. Sweet tells the story of medicine through her patients, and since most of them are homeless, their stories are often bleak. The stories of how our system fails them is so sad. And yet, there are also great heroes in this book, and their commitment is inspiring.
This doctor also studies the medical practices of an earlier time, and learns to see great value in viewing the body as a garden to be tended. The special care, caring, and rest all contribute their healing powers. She ruminates on the benefits of viewing the body as a whole, and the entire book leaves one longing for that kind of medical practice. She also (somewhat peripherally) traces the development of medical technology and how, in many cases, it dehumanizes medical practice.
I think anyone in our society would appreciate this book, but most especially someone in medicine. I'm going to give it to a doctor friend of mine, who has two sons-in-law who are also training to become doctors. I think it would be good food for thought for all of them. Plus, I'd be curious as to their reaction. However, it's a pretty long and heavy read, and may be too much for over-worked med students!
The one thing I would hope everyone would glean, though, is the value of being very present to each patient. The way Sweet describes this and what she learns is fascinating. Another fascinating aspect is her description of her learning as she periodically takes a break from the hospital to continue a pilgrimage in Spain where her spiritual learning grows. There are parts of her descriptions that read like poetry. And you have to admire her dedication...
One of the most memorable parts of the book is a several page description of a day in her pilgrimage where she meets a group of other pilgrims. Her description of --I don't even know what to call it!--stopped me in my tracks! I've had similar thoughts...and more so lately as I contemplate leaving the formal world of work. What is my unique mark on the world -- or am I like everyone else, in many ways. Anyway, what follows intrigues me still, and begins on page 295 of the paperback version of this book:
During all of this--my return to the admitting ward, Proposition D, Chambers--Rosalind and I continued our pilgrimage to Santiago de Compostela.
The third section of the pilgrimage goes over the Pyrenees and halfway across Spain.That walk was even more varied than the first two, and there were many more pilgrims. What I took back to the hospital that third year was the day we got ahead of "our group."
Not that we had a formal group. Rosalind and I traveled as the two of us; nevertheless, groups formed, just as they had for Chaucer at the inn of The Canterbury Tales. Because, starting out from the same place every day, most people walk about the same distance--a kilometer every fifteen minutes, or about two miles an hour. Some walk quickly, arrive at their destination early, and take a siesta or drink a beer. Others take their time, though they still arrive at the same destination by the end of the day. So groups naturally form: the two Americans, the French singers, the flirtatious divorcee, the talkative Spaniards, the friendly Dane, the two serious Germans.
But that particular day we somehow got ahead of "our" group--a whole day ahead, though we didn't know it. That evening we went out for dinner, sat down at a table, and ordered. As we waited for our meal, I noticed that right next to us, at the next table, were two other American women--pilgrims just about our age. They even looked kind of like us. Then I sat back in my chair and looked around. Sure enough. Over there were the two somber German pilgrims, engaged in their serious discussion, except they were not our serious German pilgrims. There was the French singing group--true, they were Belgian and they didn't sing but played recorders, but still. Way in the back was a dour Norwegian, taking the place of our friendly Dane. And the little group of Spaniards, talking loudly, just not our Spaniards.
It was uncanny. It was a whole group of pilgrims traveling together, just like our group of pilgrims, but not our group of pilgrims. All the time I'd thought we were unique, walking on the pilgrim path; I thought it was our pilgrim path, walked by us for the first time, opening its adventures, stumbles, and stones for the first time--to us. But no. Ahead of us, all the time, was a near-identical group, and, doubtless, behind us, too. For lo and behold, there "they"--that is, "we"--were, in the restaurant that night, a version of ourselves and our group. Unaware that just one day's walk behind them were their adequate replacements. And, two days ahead of them, and two days behind them, too.
That is what I brought back to the hospital that year.
I'd already begun to realize something like that. On the admitting ward, I'd noticed there was a way in which my patients were almost, if not quite, interchangeable. I always had a kind of a "group," it seemed: two Bad Boys, one Bad Girl, one querulous old woman, one stroked-out Chinese, one aging hobo, one new and miscellaneous. But after that third year of the pilgrimage, I began to see that it was also true about the nurses and the doctors and everyone else at the hospital. My group, individual as each of its members was--Dr. Jeffers, Dr. Fintner, Dr. Romero, Dr. Kay, Larissa, Christina, Mr. Conley, even Dr. S.--was not unique. After us, as before us, would assemble some other group, with our approximate equivalents. It might be in a different building, in a new Laguna Honda, even in a a different century, but such a group would arise; the nature of the hospital required it.
My patients and I and the doctors and nurses and administrators were just as accidental a group as a group of pilgrims on their way.
I found that it be a a very relaxing thought. It meant I was off the hook. If I weren't the perfect Dr. S this time--well, eventually someone would come along who would be.
It also meant that the parts we were playing were, in some sense, parts; as if this time, I'll be doctor and you'll be patient; next time, we'll switch. And so, after that third section of the pilgrimage, I began to look much more closely into the faces and eyes of my patients and the janitors and the nurses and the bus drivers. Which parts were they playing? I wondered. And I found they were looking back at me in the same searching, intimate way.
Tuesday, July 23, 2013
What Alice Forgot by Liane Moriarty
We were in Laramie in July, headed to California. My friend Leslie offered me this book as a worthy road trip companion. She thought I would enjoy it, and I did.
The premise is interesting. The main character, Alice, has an accident, and her memory of the past several years is wiped out. She goes back to her earlier, happier marriage "self." The story unfolds as she begins to understand, from people's reactions to her, how she had changed into a rather unhappy, selfish, and demanding person on the brink of divorce.
The reason I found the premise interesting is that it coincides with my belief that we, to a large extent, control the way others treat us. I know that sounds counter-intuitive, but I'm 62. I've lived long enough to experiment with this idea, and it's true. See C. Terry Warner for details! (My all-time favorite philosopher and author of Bonds that Make Us Free.) So, when Alice comes "to" as a loving wife instead of a demanding witch, it's not surprising her husband and family react differently. I wish it could have expanded on this idea more...and developed this idea more. It fell short in that, and didn't really go there.
Still, a fun summer read...and a good trip for the road.
The premise is interesting. The main character, Alice, has an accident, and her memory of the past several years is wiped out. She goes back to her earlier, happier marriage "self." The story unfolds as she begins to understand, from people's reactions to her, how she had changed into a rather unhappy, selfish, and demanding person on the brink of divorce.
The reason I found the premise interesting is that it coincides with my belief that we, to a large extent, control the way others treat us. I know that sounds counter-intuitive, but I'm 62. I've lived long enough to experiment with this idea, and it's true. See C. Terry Warner for details! (My all-time favorite philosopher and author of Bonds that Make Us Free.) So, when Alice comes "to" as a loving wife instead of a demanding witch, it's not surprising her husband and family react differently. I wish it could have expanded on this idea more...and developed this idea more. It fell short in that, and didn't really go there.
Still, a fun summer read...and a good trip for the road.
Wednesday, July 17, 2013
The Rent Collector by Camron Wright
This unusual book was one of our book club's summer reading choices. We never had the meeting to discuss it, because the book turned out to be expensive and unavailable in a cheaper version. My friend Christy offered to lend me her copy. She thought I would enjoy it, and I trust her taste! She had also recommended The Glass Castle, and said that it was similar in some ways.
Although the setting is abject poverty, it didn't ring as "true" as the Glass Castle. And how could it? The author is American and the setting is a Cambodian dump. Still, there's much to be appreciated here. It's a story of struggle and of finding joy in learning. I certainly relate to the opening chapter when the main character, Sang Ly, quotes a Chinese proverb: The most difficult battles in life are those we fight within. Although the author is a male, his rendering of his female main character is sensitive. I like how he made her thinking visible, so we could sense her struggle. I liked how her growing education was revealed in her thinking and actions. It was also enjoyable to "witness" the learning to read process.
Is it a great classic? A real page-turner? No. A worthy effort and an uplifting one? Yes. It definitely showed how overcoming obstacles and never giving up is admirable. It was hard, though, to "live" through the setting of the dump. Life seemed so hard. It should have made me extra grateful for my comfortable life...and I suppose it did. Sang Ly's indomitable spirit helped me return to the story, even when the setting put me off. A good summer read, but probably wouldn't choose to read it again.
Although the setting is abject poverty, it didn't ring as "true" as the Glass Castle. And how could it? The author is American and the setting is a Cambodian dump. Still, there's much to be appreciated here. It's a story of struggle and of finding joy in learning. I certainly relate to the opening chapter when the main character, Sang Ly, quotes a Chinese proverb: The most difficult battles in life are those we fight within. Although the author is a male, his rendering of his female main character is sensitive. I like how he made her thinking visible, so we could sense her struggle. I liked how her growing education was revealed in her thinking and actions. It was also enjoyable to "witness" the learning to read process.
Is it a great classic? A real page-turner? No. A worthy effort and an uplifting one? Yes. It definitely showed how overcoming obstacles and never giving up is admirable. It was hard, though, to "live" through the setting of the dump. Life seemed so hard. It should have made me extra grateful for my comfortable life...and I suppose it did. Sang Ly's indomitable spirit helped me return to the story, even when the setting put me off. A good summer read, but probably wouldn't choose to read it again.
Tuesday, June 11, 2013
Born to Run by Christopher McDougall
The subheading of this book is: A hidden tribe, superathletes, and the greatest race the world has never seen. All of this is true. This book was so enjoyable and so enlightening! It reads like a great suspense novel, full of mystery and intrigue. And it also has great information about feet, running shoes, anatomy, running, Mexico's geography, and the craziness of runners, specifically, ultra-runners. There is so much good research summarized here, that I am keeping this book as a reference. And, I want to read it again, because there was a lot I want to read more carefully again. I was impressed, especially, by the story of the running shoe companies and their research results. I want to be sure I understand that before I talk about it anymore! It was convincing enough, though, for me to buy some Merrell shoes that are among the minimalist sort, to see if it will help my right foot, in particular.
The suspense comes from the story of a race the author puts together. We wonder, along with him, if he can pull it off. The elusive Tarahumara Indians are fascinating to learn about, and we wonder, along with him, if they will even race. And the ultra runners and their personalities are intriguing.
Because I love working out, I love the descriptions of the training and the challenges, and the nutrition that goes along with it. I also enjoy the description of the mental state that is achieved through this effort. I've had a few experiences along these lines, and hope to have more. This race and geography is way more ambitious than I could ever undertake, but it's fun to fantasize about being a part of such an adventure.
The suspense comes from the story of a race the author puts together. We wonder, along with him, if he can pull it off. The elusive Tarahumara Indians are fascinating to learn about, and we wonder, along with him, if they will even race. And the ultra runners and their personalities are intriguing.
Because I love working out, I love the descriptions of the training and the challenges, and the nutrition that goes along with it. I also enjoy the description of the mental state that is achieved through this effort. I've had a few experiences along these lines, and hope to have more. This race and geography is way more ambitious than I could ever undertake, but it's fun to fantasize about being a part of such an adventure.
Sunday, May 19, 2013
The Glass Castle by Jeannette Walls
My friend Amberly loves books like I do, and loves to learn from them and talk about them. When she talked to me about this one, I determined to read it. But somehow it didn't happen. Then my friend Jack, who retired last year, took a "Write Your Memoirs" class and started sending me his chapters. When he called me to find out what I thought about them, he asked me if I had read The Glass Castle. He told me it was an amazing book and gave him a model for what he was after. He said it was funny and tragic and hit just the right notes of resonance with him. Okay, if two people are so enthused about a book, then I decided I had to read it. It was good to be back in our city library where I hadn't been for awhile. Used paperbacks on Amazon are so convenient that I had not been into our library for maybe two years! I found it in the biography section and started in.
It grabbed me from the first chapter. They are short chapters and they can't be done one at a time. You have to take on at least eight or ten. Very hard to put down. Jeannette's story is so incredible and her life so unbelievable that I was riveted and horrified. The story of these neglectful, selfish parents and their children is such a personal look inside a dysfunctional family that it was hard to take, yet I couldn't stop. Another reason I couldn't stop was that the first chapter is told in retrospective so you know she's going to end up in a Park Avenue in New York City. So, you keep reading to find out how on earth she got THERE from what she describes as her life.
I may try reading it again to try to see the humor that Jack saw. I was so distraught over the parents' behavior that I couldn't see the humor in it. What I'm curious about is if Jeannette intended the humor and maybe that will become clearer to me on a second reading. I'm not sure I can take it on again, though. As I read this book, I would occasionally ask myself if I was feeling uncomfortable because I had always feared this kind of life. When we were growing up, we were pretty poor too. I feared that I was "white trash" sometimes. I remember when people would drive up to our house that I knew we were dirty and scraggly and wanted to tell people that even though we looked bad, we were pretty happy. And we were. And then I asked myself what made my childhood so unlike the one described in this book. Was it my parents' education? Was it their basic goodness?
But since I finished it, what I've been wondering about is what made these parents tick. I believe in the basic goodness of people. These people were not evil in the normal sense I use it. But they perhaps they were... And is the father excused because of his alcoholism? I am amazed at the mother's total lack of caring and protection. Was it laziness or something else? I think mothers and fathers love their children and want to protect them. What does it mean when they don't? I'm baffled. Who are these people and how could they desire what they chose?
Jeannette's resilience or somehow figuring out that there was a better life outside of her family is an amazing aspect of this story. How she did that eluded me, or was too subtle for me to catch. How did she become aware of her talents? She mentions some teachers, but it's not really clear to me what saved her. Maybe the books she read? And it's amazing that three of her siblings fought their way clear. It breaks my heart that the fourth one didn't...I wonder what the difference was between the three who succeeded and the one who did not.
One thing that is a definite advantage of this book is that I do have some insight now into the whole world of homelessness and poverty that I didn't have before. It's good to know there is great intelligence and resourcefulness in that world as well as other things...But it's such a waste, such a loss. I guess I always thought that people's intelligence would help them grow. In this case, the parents' never grow or learn or improve. So tragic, and such a loss!
It grabbed me from the first chapter. They are short chapters and they can't be done one at a time. You have to take on at least eight or ten. Very hard to put down. Jeannette's story is so incredible and her life so unbelievable that I was riveted and horrified. The story of these neglectful, selfish parents and their children is such a personal look inside a dysfunctional family that it was hard to take, yet I couldn't stop. Another reason I couldn't stop was that the first chapter is told in retrospective so you know she's going to end up in a Park Avenue in New York City. So, you keep reading to find out how on earth she got THERE from what she describes as her life.
I may try reading it again to try to see the humor that Jack saw. I was so distraught over the parents' behavior that I couldn't see the humor in it. What I'm curious about is if Jeannette intended the humor and maybe that will become clearer to me on a second reading. I'm not sure I can take it on again, though. As I read this book, I would occasionally ask myself if I was feeling uncomfortable because I had always feared this kind of life. When we were growing up, we were pretty poor too. I feared that I was "white trash" sometimes. I remember when people would drive up to our house that I knew we were dirty and scraggly and wanted to tell people that even though we looked bad, we were pretty happy. And we were. And then I asked myself what made my childhood so unlike the one described in this book. Was it my parents' education? Was it their basic goodness?
But since I finished it, what I've been wondering about is what made these parents tick. I believe in the basic goodness of people. These people were not evil in the normal sense I use it. But they perhaps they were... And is the father excused because of his alcoholism? I am amazed at the mother's total lack of caring and protection. Was it laziness or something else? I think mothers and fathers love their children and want to protect them. What does it mean when they don't? I'm baffled. Who are these people and how could they desire what they chose?
Jeannette's resilience or somehow figuring out that there was a better life outside of her family is an amazing aspect of this story. How she did that eluded me, or was too subtle for me to catch. How did she become aware of her talents? She mentions some teachers, but it's not really clear to me what saved her. Maybe the books she read? And it's amazing that three of her siblings fought their way clear. It breaks my heart that the fourth one didn't...I wonder what the difference was between the three who succeeded and the one who did not.
One thing that is a definite advantage of this book is that I do have some insight now into the whole world of homelessness and poverty that I didn't have before. It's good to know there is great intelligence and resourcefulness in that world as well as other things...But it's such a waste, such a loss. I guess I always thought that people's intelligence would help them grow. In this case, the parents' never grow or learn or improve. So tragic, and such a loss!
Don't Let's Go to the Dogs Tonight by Alexandra Fuller
Strictly speaking, I shouldn't add this book because I didn't finish it! My friend Mary lent it to me and assured me I would love it. Sometimes our taste is compatible and sometimes it isn't. This one isn't!
I was intrigued by the setting of growing up in Africa, so I soldiered on, even though the story was depressing. Sometimes a depressing story hardship can become a story of hope. The hardships in this family saga, however, were becoming worse and worse. When the little sister died, I slapped the book closed and said, ENOUGH. Done. Not enough hope going there or even hope of future hope to continue!
I was intrigued by the setting of growing up in Africa, so I soldiered on, even though the story was depressing. Sometimes a depressing story hardship can become a story of hope. The hardships in this family saga, however, were becoming worse and worse. When the little sister died, I slapped the book closed and said, ENOUGH. Done. Not enough hope going there or even hope of future hope to continue!
Friday, May 17, 2013
To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee
When this book was announced for our reading group, I thought, "Wow...it's been a long time. I read that in high school. I believe I thought it was really good. Okay...I'll read it again." Well, I didn't get to it before our group met, but I went to listen in to the discussion anyway. As usual, it was lively and enlightening. And at the end of the evening, I had snagged a copy to borrow and read. It was surprisingly engaging and wonderful. And...true test of a book I love...I began it all over again as soon as I finished it.
Here's what I notice about my reading of fiction. I get so engrossed in the story that I read fast and miss a lot. So, my second time through, I can slow down and enjoy it and catch many of the subtleties that I missed first time through. This book was very rewarding the second time through...many aspects of what was going on around Scout, the main character, caught my attention. It was just a wonderful story of wonderful people. Scout and her brother, Jem, and their friend Dill captured so much of the wonder of childhood that it was good for this adult to feel a little younger.
I have a friend here in Rapid City who named her son Atticus after Scout and Jem's father. I remember wondering at the time if this was really a character I would want to pin that on. Well, after reading the book again, I totally understand her inclination. Here's a father who treats his children with respect and talks to them expecting them to understand difficult issues. Their family relationships are rich and deep.
I also really enjoyed the part where Scout and Jem go to church with their black cook, Calpurnia. Wonderful scenes that are told with pathos. Calpurnia turns out to be a most worthy and interesting character.
I vaguely recall being amazed in high school that blacks were treated like that in the South. This work was published about the same time I was becoming aware of civil rights. Our country has gone through so much since then, yet this struggle and this story feel very current. Because I enjoyed this author so much, I was anxious to read her other books. But she didn't write any others! This is amazing to me...she said that she had written what she wanted to say and didn't want to say it again. She didn't enjoy the publicity or the spotlight that her success brought her, so she wasn't about to do it again. I think there must be a lot of the plucky Scout in her! This is definitely a classic and a joy and would be worthwhile to read and discuss again and again. Both the courage and the innocence of Scout speak to me.
Here's what I notice about my reading of fiction. I get so engrossed in the story that I read fast and miss a lot. So, my second time through, I can slow down and enjoy it and catch many of the subtleties that I missed first time through. This book was very rewarding the second time through...many aspects of what was going on around Scout, the main character, caught my attention. It was just a wonderful story of wonderful people. Scout and her brother, Jem, and their friend Dill captured so much of the wonder of childhood that it was good for this adult to feel a little younger.
I have a friend here in Rapid City who named her son Atticus after Scout and Jem's father. I remember wondering at the time if this was really a character I would want to pin that on. Well, after reading the book again, I totally understand her inclination. Here's a father who treats his children with respect and talks to them expecting them to understand difficult issues. Their family relationships are rich and deep.
I also really enjoyed the part where Scout and Jem go to church with their black cook, Calpurnia. Wonderful scenes that are told with pathos. Calpurnia turns out to be a most worthy and interesting character.
I vaguely recall being amazed in high school that blacks were treated like that in the South. This work was published about the same time I was becoming aware of civil rights. Our country has gone through so much since then, yet this struggle and this story feel very current. Because I enjoyed this author so much, I was anxious to read her other books. But she didn't write any others! This is amazing to me...she said that she had written what she wanted to say and didn't want to say it again. She didn't enjoy the publicity or the spotlight that her success brought her, so she wasn't about to do it again. I think there must be a lot of the plucky Scout in her! This is definitely a classic and a joy and would be worthwhile to read and discuss again and again. Both the courage and the innocence of Scout speak to me.
Sunday, April 7, 2013
Speaking From Among the Bones by Alan Bradley
My favorite little chemist, Flavia, is at it again! She never fails to delight me! Although the setting of this mystery is dark and grave (pun intended) Bradley makes it light and fun. I always love the characters in Bishop's Lacey...and again they are interesting here. Because this is the fifth book in the series, I was afraid that perhaps this was the last in the series. However, the ending leaves no doubt that there are more to come! Hooray!
Sunday, March 10, 2013
The Tontine by Thomas B. Costain
When we were home in Napa at Christmas, I asked my 91-year old father for a recommendation for a new book for me. I was there longer than anticipated, and had finished everything I had brought along with me. My dad and I happen to love some of the same books (Story Like the Wind; A Far-Off Place, for example), so I was hoping he would have a good suggestion for me. He did! And not only did he recommend it, my sister Ann chimed in and said she had enjoyed it too. And, best of all, he had a copy of it I could keep awhile.
From the first page, I was taken in! Costain weaves a delightful history of life in England around the time of Napoleon's defeat. It's an ambitious undertaking as he follows the lives of several families and generations as England becomes industrialized. The main family, the Carboy's, are importers and factory owners. There's love, there's intrigue, there's peerage, and there's all manner of human frailties. Costain's tone is quite witty; he has a sometimes acid eye as he describes the foibles and interactions of the characters. Sometimes I would laugh out loud at his observations.
The story spans three or more generations and is divided into two volumes. I found the first volume much funnier than the first, but the story carried me right along in the second. It took me awhile to track down and order the second volume, so I had a few weeks in between. By the end of the story in the second volume, I couldn't remember some of the people that the story had circled back around to. So I started back at the beginning of the story in Volume 1, and realize that from the very beginning there is LOTS of subtle foreshadowing of things to come. It's very enjoyable to notice these on the second time through.
Costain's characters are fascinating and memorable. They also tend to be pretty much altruistic (Helen Groody) or stubbornly greedy (Sam Carboy). Although the good ones have their weak moments, the greedy ones seldom have any redeeming qualities; at least any that we can see. What they profess early in their lives (Isabelle Carboy, for example, wanting to marry a duke) stays consistent over the course of their lives. The English passion for their knighted and decorated heroes is fun to read about.
One thing I enjoyed was the comforting world that the author creates around the good characters. It feels reassuring to see good being rewarded with peace! Their lives are not always easy and they suffer serious setbacks, but their peace remains. That's a good thing.
The books I read were published in 1955 and the several pen and ink illustrations by Herbert Ryman in each volume are spare and charming. All in all, worthy of keeping and visiting again in a future lazy day!
July 2016
So...just coming out of a very difficult period...this pair of books (Volume 1 and 2) were a delightful retreat from reality as my brain adjusted to a new phase of life. We moved into a townhome and moved Irene in with us; she's 92 and this has dramatically changed our lives. When things were tough, I would gratefully retreat down to our cool walk-out basement and lose myself again in this wonderful story. I was so exhausted every day, that this was book was also a great reward at night before crashing. It took me over a month to read both this time around, and it was well worth it!
From the first page, I was taken in! Costain weaves a delightful history of life in England around the time of Napoleon's defeat. It's an ambitious undertaking as he follows the lives of several families and generations as England becomes industrialized. The main family, the Carboy's, are importers and factory owners. There's love, there's intrigue, there's peerage, and there's all manner of human frailties. Costain's tone is quite witty; he has a sometimes acid eye as he describes the foibles and interactions of the characters. Sometimes I would laugh out loud at his observations.
The story spans three or more generations and is divided into two volumes. I found the first volume much funnier than the first, but the story carried me right along in the second. It took me awhile to track down and order the second volume, so I had a few weeks in between. By the end of the story in the second volume, I couldn't remember some of the people that the story had circled back around to. So I started back at the beginning of the story in Volume 1, and realize that from the very beginning there is LOTS of subtle foreshadowing of things to come. It's very enjoyable to notice these on the second time through.
Costain's characters are fascinating and memorable. They also tend to be pretty much altruistic (Helen Groody) or stubbornly greedy (Sam Carboy). Although the good ones have their weak moments, the greedy ones seldom have any redeeming qualities; at least any that we can see. What they profess early in their lives (Isabelle Carboy, for example, wanting to marry a duke) stays consistent over the course of their lives. The English passion for their knighted and decorated heroes is fun to read about.
One thing I enjoyed was the comforting world that the author creates around the good characters. It feels reassuring to see good being rewarded with peace! Their lives are not always easy and they suffer serious setbacks, but their peace remains. That's a good thing.
The books I read were published in 1955 and the several pen and ink illustrations by Herbert Ryman in each volume are spare and charming. All in all, worthy of keeping and visiting again in a future lazy day!
July 2016
So...just coming out of a very difficult period...this pair of books (Volume 1 and 2) were a delightful retreat from reality as my brain adjusted to a new phase of life. We moved into a townhome and moved Irene in with us; she's 92 and this has dramatically changed our lives. When things were tough, I would gratefully retreat down to our cool walk-out basement and lose myself again in this wonderful story. I was so exhausted every day, that this was book was also a great reward at night before crashing. It took me over a month to read both this time around, and it was well worth it!
April 2022
I just finished it again! What a delightful story with great characters! We are now living in St. George, and it was a nice spring read when I needed something to help me sleep. I love this story and these characters. I might have to branch out and try a few more of this author's. It's amazing the detail he goes into as he describes the events of the three generations this epic novel spans. We see child labor exploited, we see heroes helping to get child-protection laws passed, we see Napoleon's family trying to gain the throne again, and we see the massive wealth built in England by Sam Carboy utterly lost in a depression. So enjoyable! It's a keeper, for sure. And kind of bittersweet, now that Daddy is gone, that I can't revisit the story with him.
I just finished it again! What a delightful story with great characters! We are now living in St. George, and it was a nice spring read when I needed something to help me sleep. I love this story and these characters. I might have to branch out and try a few more of this author's. It's amazing the detail he goes into as he describes the events of the three generations this epic novel spans. We see child labor exploited, we see heroes helping to get child-protection laws passed, we see Napoleon's family trying to gain the throne again, and we see the massive wealth built in England by Sam Carboy utterly lost in a depression. So enjoyable! It's a keeper, for sure. And kind of bittersweet, now that Daddy is gone, that I can't revisit the story with him.
Sunday, March 3, 2013
Without Offense: The Art of Giving and Receiving Criticism by Dr. John L. Lund
I was talking to my friend Christy one day, about a book we both love: Bonds That Make Us Free by C. Terry Warner. I was wondering aloud about why Warner left much of the "how" out of his book and wrote that people had to find their own path. I liked that respect for our abilities, yet would appreciate some specific guidance in the area of working out differences constructively. Christy offered to lend me this book, because she feels it really goes a long way towards the "how."
Initially, I was disappointed as I scanned the first few chapters. Lund makes a strong case through scriptural references that advise that we are generally NOT to give criticism. He goes on to say that there is no such thing as "constructive" criticism, and compares criticism to unrighteous judgment.
Gradually, though, I began to understand and appreciate his point of view. Here's an excerpt from page 36:
Wisdom and common sense require that criticism be used sparingly. We should criticize so seldom that when we do, we will be heard. The frequently critical person is tuned out before the message is delivered. Nor is it justified to criticize in the name of being honest. The so-called open, honest relationship, where both members feel free to express their concerns, often provides a forum for the more critical partner. Maybe the fundamental question that ought to be asked is not, "Is it honest?" but rather, "Is it edifying?" Will it ultimately be uplifting? Will it be good for the individual and the relationship? If a criticism does not qualify under the latter, it should not be spoken at all.
On page 37, he describes the 24-hour challenge. That is, to try to live 24 hours without giving any criticism. I have tried this, and have had to start over multiple times! This little exercise really brought home to me how often and constantly I have critical thoughts and words.
Near the end of the book, Lund describes so-called toxic personalities and how to deal with them. This was perhaps my least favorite part of the book. It was almost like you're excused if you have to deal with a toxic personality...whereas Warner wouldn't go there at all. There may be times and people you leave, but you leave without anger, and with love. This toxic personality is no excuse, in my mind, but Lund still does caution us that even in those situations, our task is to love others. "People deserve to be loved because they are children of God. People should be loved even if their deeds cannot be."
Some of the "rules" of giving criticism make sense:
1. Think before you speak. Is the criticism within your stewardship, and would it be in the best interest of the other person to hear it? If not, don't say it. If it is, then proceed.
2. Ask for and receive permission before criticizing.
3. Be alone with the person at a mutually agreeable time and place.
4. Be in emotional control and logically explain the concern. No yelling, crying, swearing, or physical or emotional intimidation is allowed.
5. Do not attack the self-wroth of any human being. Focus on the issue or behavior. Be as specific as you can in separating self-wroth from the issue or behavior.
6. Affirm his or her worth to you.
I wouldn't say this book was one I appreciated very much. Parts made sense, but in general, I didn't find it too helpful. It seems like too often the "acting out of love" was a strain or sacrifice, whereas Warner's idea is that being who WE need to be gives the other person a different person to react to...and there isn't sacrifice or martyrdom involved at all. We are just doing the right thing for the right reason. That approach makes more sense to me...
Friday, February 22, 2013
Becoming the Teacher that Students Remember by Philip S. Hall
I was delighted when Phil asked Len and me to read this manuscript because I felt like I would learn a lot about Phil. I did! He has spent years working with difficult children and he truly values them and offers unrelenting hope and strategies for changing their future. I want to remember his six relationship skills; he claims that teachers who use all six will empower their learners and provide an emotionally safe environment. There are three for each of these two purposes:
Here are the Empowering Learners skills:
1. Ensuring success
2. Promoting independence
3. Teaching for behavior change
Here are the Emotionally Safe Environment skills:
4. Gentle interventions
5. Logical consequences
6. No punishment
These six form a solid framework for a teacher and for a school. Phil's stories bring each one to life in a very entertaining way.
Please note: THIS HAS NOT YET BEEN PUBLISHED! Hopefully, it will be soon!
Here are the Empowering Learners skills:
1. Ensuring success
2. Promoting independence
3. Teaching for behavior change
Here are the Emotionally Safe Environment skills:
4. Gentle interventions
5. Logical consequences
6. No punishment
These six form a solid framework for a teacher and for a school. Phil's stories bring each one to life in a very entertaining way.
Please note: THIS HAS NOT YET BEEN PUBLISHED! Hopefully, it will be soon!
Sunday, February 10, 2013
The Return of the Prodigal Son by Henri Nouwen
This slender little volume of only 151 pages is a delight. I have heard Henri Nouwen quoted many times in my Courage & Renewal work, but I had never encountered him directly, in a complete piece of work. This was the perfect place to begin, I think, because it helped me get acquainted with his deep love of God and his musings on the meaning of that in his life. Interestingly, it wasn't through a Courage & Renewal person that I was motivated to read this book. It was at a late summer meeting with author Chuck Schwahn over lunch when we were taking a break from "Mass Customized Learning" ideas, planning, and work that I realized I needed to read this book. Chuck described how Nouwen leads his reader through a spiritual understanding as he "came home" to God through studying and living with Rembrandt's painting, the Prodigal Son. I was intrigued by Chuck's enthusiasm about this book, and, as I've read and pondered it, have gained new understanding of Chuck and what's important to him. I hope this will help me as we work together in the future. I feel it will!
It's a beautiful journey that Nouwen leads us on. He describes the painting (an astonishing 8 ft. by 6 ft.), traces its roots through parts of Rembrandt's life, and describes his own understandings of its meaning over time. It's all based on the biblical account of the Prodigal Son. Nouwen sees himself first as the rebellious, then repentant son; next as the resentful, faithful, older son, and finally as the loving, welcoming father. I love how his understanding of man's agency, God's boundless love, Christ's submission and weakness, and the nature of God as both father and mother coincide with my own beliefs and Mormon doctrine. His insights deepen my beliefs and gratitude.
Now the struggle will be to choose only a few of the choice passages and not to quote the entire book! I will share a few, as a sampling, to help me remember that this is a book to be savored again and again. And it's probably like the scriptures themselves in that each time I read them, they will have a different application to my life and understanding!
From the Prologue, pages 4-5: ...I first encountered Rembrandt's Prodigal Son on the door of Simone's office. My heart leapt when I saw it. After my long and self-exposing journey, the tender embrace of father and son expressed everything I desired at that moment. I was, indeed, the son exhausted from long travels; I wanted to be embraced; I was looking for a home where I could feel safe. The son-come-home was all I was and all that I wanted to be. For so long I had been going from place to place: confronting, beseeching, admonishing, and consoling. Now I desired only to rest safely in a place where I could feel a sense of belonging, a place where I could feel at home....It had brought me into touch with something within me that lies far beyond the ups and downs of a busy life, something that represents the ongoing yearning of the human spirit, the yearning for a final return, an unambiguous sense of safety, a lasting home.
Page 9 - Gradually I realized that there were as many paintings of the Prodigal Son as there were changes in the light, and, for a long time, I was held spellbound by this gracious dance of nature and art.
Page 33-- As I look at the prodigal son kneeling before his father and pressing his face against his chest, I cannot but see there the once so self-confident and venerated artist who has come to the painful realization that all the glory he had gathered for himself proved to be vain glory. Instead of the rich garments with which the youthful Rembrandt painted himself in the brothel, he now wears only a torn undertunic covering his emaciated body, and the sandals, in which he had walked so far, have become worn out and useless.
Moving my eyes from the repentant son to the compassionate father, I see that the glittering light reflecting from golden chains, harnesses, helmets, candles, and hidden lamps has died out and been replaced by the inner light of old age. It is the movement from the glory that seduces one into an ever greater search for wealth and popularity to the glory that is hidden in the human soul and surpasses death.
Page 35--The soft yellow-brown of the son's underclothes looks beautiful when seen in rich harmony of the father's cloak, but the truth of the matter is that the son is dressed in rages that betray the great misery that lies behind him. In the context of a compassionate embrace, our brokenness may appear beautiful, but our brokenness has no other beauty but the beauty that comes from the compassion that surrounds it.
And then Nouwen explains the extreme hurt that would have come to the father given the son's desire to take his inheritance early and leave...it was counter-cultural, and taking this early implied that the son wanted the father dead. These insights deepen the love I feel for the father's joy at his return...
Pages 39-40-- Yet over and over again I have left home. I have fled the hands of blessing and run off to faraway places search for love! This is the great tragedy of my life and of the lives of so many I meet on my journey. Somehow I have become deaf to the voice that calls me the Beloved, have left the only place where I can hear that voice, and have gone off desperately hoping that I would find somewhere else what I could no longer find at home.
At first this sounds simply unbelievable. Why should I leave the place where all I need to hear can be heard? The more I think about this question, the more I realize that the true voice of love is a very soft and gentle voice speaking to me in the most hidden places of my being. It is not a boisterous voice, forcing itslef on me and demanding attention. It is the voice of a nearly blind father who has cried much and died many deaths. It is a voice that coan only be heard by those who allow themselves to be touched.
Page 44--...But the father couldn't compel his son to stay home. He couldn't force his love on the Beloved. He had to let him go in freedom, even though he knew the pain it would cause both his son and himself. It was love itself that prevented him from keeping his son home at all cost. It was love itself that allowed him to let his son find his own life, even with the risk of losing it.
Here the mystery of my life is unveiled. I am loved so much that I am left free to leave home. The blessint is there from the beginning. I have left it and keep on leaving it. But the Father is always looking for me with outstretched arms to receive me back and whisper again in my ear, "You are my Beloved, on you my favor rests."
Page 108 -- The parable of the prodical son is a story that speaks about a love that existed before any rejection was possible and that will still be there after all rejections have taken place. It is the first and everlasting love of a God who is Father as well as Mother. It is the fountain of all true human love, even the most limited. Jesus' whole life and preaching had only one aim: to reveal this inexhaustible, unlimited motherly and fatherly love of his God and to show the way to let that love guide every part of our daily lives. In his painting of the father, Rembrandt offers me a glimpse of that love. It is the love that always welcomes home and always wants to celebrate.
Page 117-- For me it is amazing to experience daily the radical difference between cynicism and joy. Cynics seek darkness wherever they go. They point always to approaching dangers, impure motives, and hidden schemes. They call trust naive, care romantic, and forgiveness sentimental. They sneer at enthusiasm, ridicule spiritual fervor, and despise charismatic behavior. They consider themselves realists who see reality for what it truly is and who are not deceived by "escapist emotions." But in belittling God's joy, their darkness only calls forth more darkness.
People who have come to know the joy of God do not deny the darkness, but they choose not to live in it. They claim that the light that shines in the darkness can be trusted more than the darkness itself and that a little bit of light can dispel a lot of darkness. They point each other to flashes of light here and there, and remind each other that they reveal the hidden but real presence of God. They discover that there are pople who heal each other's wounds, forgive each other's offenses, share their possessions, foster the spirit of community, celebrate the gifts they have received, and live in constant anticipation of the full manifestation of God's glory.
Every moment of each day I have the chance to choose between cynicism and joy. Every thought I have can be cynical or joyful...Increasingly I am aware of all these possible choices, and increasintly I discover that every choice for joy in turn reveals more joy and offers more reason to make life a true celebration in the house of the Father.
It's a beautiful journey that Nouwen leads us on. He describes the painting (an astonishing 8 ft. by 6 ft.), traces its roots through parts of Rembrandt's life, and describes his own understandings of its meaning over time. It's all based on the biblical account of the Prodigal Son. Nouwen sees himself first as the rebellious, then repentant son; next as the resentful, faithful, older son, and finally as the loving, welcoming father. I love how his understanding of man's agency, God's boundless love, Christ's submission and weakness, and the nature of God as both father and mother coincide with my own beliefs and Mormon doctrine. His insights deepen my beliefs and gratitude.
Now the struggle will be to choose only a few of the choice passages and not to quote the entire book! I will share a few, as a sampling, to help me remember that this is a book to be savored again and again. And it's probably like the scriptures themselves in that each time I read them, they will have a different application to my life and understanding!
From the Prologue, pages 4-5: ...I first encountered Rembrandt's Prodigal Son on the door of Simone's office. My heart leapt when I saw it. After my long and self-exposing journey, the tender embrace of father and son expressed everything I desired at that moment. I was, indeed, the son exhausted from long travels; I wanted to be embraced; I was looking for a home where I could feel safe. The son-come-home was all I was and all that I wanted to be. For so long I had been going from place to place: confronting, beseeching, admonishing, and consoling. Now I desired only to rest safely in a place where I could feel a sense of belonging, a place where I could feel at home....It had brought me into touch with something within me that lies far beyond the ups and downs of a busy life, something that represents the ongoing yearning of the human spirit, the yearning for a final return, an unambiguous sense of safety, a lasting home.
Page 9 - Gradually I realized that there were as many paintings of the Prodigal Son as there were changes in the light, and, for a long time, I was held spellbound by this gracious dance of nature and art.
Page 33-- As I look at the prodigal son kneeling before his father and pressing his face against his chest, I cannot but see there the once so self-confident and venerated artist who has come to the painful realization that all the glory he had gathered for himself proved to be vain glory. Instead of the rich garments with which the youthful Rembrandt painted himself in the brothel, he now wears only a torn undertunic covering his emaciated body, and the sandals, in which he had walked so far, have become worn out and useless.
Moving my eyes from the repentant son to the compassionate father, I see that the glittering light reflecting from golden chains, harnesses, helmets, candles, and hidden lamps has died out and been replaced by the inner light of old age. It is the movement from the glory that seduces one into an ever greater search for wealth and popularity to the glory that is hidden in the human soul and surpasses death.
Page 35--The soft yellow-brown of the son's underclothes looks beautiful when seen in rich harmony of the father's cloak, but the truth of the matter is that the son is dressed in rages that betray the great misery that lies behind him. In the context of a compassionate embrace, our brokenness may appear beautiful, but our brokenness has no other beauty but the beauty that comes from the compassion that surrounds it.
And then Nouwen explains the extreme hurt that would have come to the father given the son's desire to take his inheritance early and leave...it was counter-cultural, and taking this early implied that the son wanted the father dead. These insights deepen the love I feel for the father's joy at his return...
Pages 39-40-- Yet over and over again I have left home. I have fled the hands of blessing and run off to faraway places search for love! This is the great tragedy of my life and of the lives of so many I meet on my journey. Somehow I have become deaf to the voice that calls me the Beloved, have left the only place where I can hear that voice, and have gone off desperately hoping that I would find somewhere else what I could no longer find at home.
At first this sounds simply unbelievable. Why should I leave the place where all I need to hear can be heard? The more I think about this question, the more I realize that the true voice of love is a very soft and gentle voice speaking to me in the most hidden places of my being. It is not a boisterous voice, forcing itslef on me and demanding attention. It is the voice of a nearly blind father who has cried much and died many deaths. It is a voice that coan only be heard by those who allow themselves to be touched.
Page 44--...But the father couldn't compel his son to stay home. He couldn't force his love on the Beloved. He had to let him go in freedom, even though he knew the pain it would cause both his son and himself. It was love itself that prevented him from keeping his son home at all cost. It was love itself that allowed him to let his son find his own life, even with the risk of losing it.
Here the mystery of my life is unveiled. I am loved so much that I am left free to leave home. The blessint is there from the beginning. I have left it and keep on leaving it. But the Father is always looking for me with outstretched arms to receive me back and whisper again in my ear, "You are my Beloved, on you my favor rests."
Page 108 -- The parable of the prodical son is a story that speaks about a love that existed before any rejection was possible and that will still be there after all rejections have taken place. It is the first and everlasting love of a God who is Father as well as Mother. It is the fountain of all true human love, even the most limited. Jesus' whole life and preaching had only one aim: to reveal this inexhaustible, unlimited motherly and fatherly love of his God and to show the way to let that love guide every part of our daily lives. In his painting of the father, Rembrandt offers me a glimpse of that love. It is the love that always welcomes home and always wants to celebrate.
Page 117-- For me it is amazing to experience daily the radical difference between cynicism and joy. Cynics seek darkness wherever they go. They point always to approaching dangers, impure motives, and hidden schemes. They call trust naive, care romantic, and forgiveness sentimental. They sneer at enthusiasm, ridicule spiritual fervor, and despise charismatic behavior. They consider themselves realists who see reality for what it truly is and who are not deceived by "escapist emotions." But in belittling God's joy, their darkness only calls forth more darkness.
People who have come to know the joy of God do not deny the darkness, but they choose not to live in it. They claim that the light that shines in the darkness can be trusted more than the darkness itself and that a little bit of light can dispel a lot of darkness. They point each other to flashes of light here and there, and remind each other that they reveal the hidden but real presence of God. They discover that there are pople who heal each other's wounds, forgive each other's offenses, share their possessions, foster the spirit of community, celebrate the gifts they have received, and live in constant anticipation of the full manifestation of God's glory.
Every moment of each day I have the chance to choose between cynicism and joy. Every thought I have can be cynical or joyful...Increasingly I am aware of all these possible choices, and increasintly I discover that every choice for joy in turn reveals more joy and offers more reason to make life a true celebration in the house of the Father.
Tuesday, January 15, 2013
The Retreat by Carol Kortsch
The Center for Courage & Renewal hosts a listserv for facilitators of Courage to Teach and other Circles of Trust. Carol Kortsch is a fellow facilitator and her book was lauded on the listserv as a MUST READ, so that's what led me to order it and read it.
It takes a very typical (for Courage work) weekend retreat and describes the experience through the eyes of several of the participants. The author takes very difficult subject matter -- describing something so ethereal and personal -- and makes it accessible. It's a very interesting way to elucidate the Courage work. While these circles of trust are deeply personal and reflective, the human experience is universal. This book really proves through various characters, "the more personal, the more universal."
I found the book particularly interesting as a facilitator because the author describes so well the uncertainty that I often feel in leading this work. She also offers beautiful and descriptive language that describes very difficult concepts like soul, community, trust, and those ephemeral feelings of self-understanding and struggle. She also describes the fear and trembling that participants feel in silence, in community, in Clearness Committees, etc., for the first time.
I'm wondering if this book would enhance someone's retreat experience because they would know what to expect...or if it would detract because the bar would be set so high! I don't know...the people in this story make remarkable progress in a very short time...not sure how realistic this is! Have I had life-changing experiences in a circle of trust? Absolutely! Does it happen every time? Not for me...so I wonder about that. Perhaps it would enhance a person's readiness. Perhaps it would encourage them to be as honest, open, and as authentic as possible. And maybe it will broaden the audience for this kind of inner work--that would be a good thing!
It takes a very typical (for Courage work) weekend retreat and describes the experience through the eyes of several of the participants. The author takes very difficult subject matter -- describing something so ethereal and personal -- and makes it accessible. It's a very interesting way to elucidate the Courage work. While these circles of trust are deeply personal and reflective, the human experience is universal. This book really proves through various characters, "the more personal, the more universal."
I found the book particularly interesting as a facilitator because the author describes so well the uncertainty that I often feel in leading this work. She also offers beautiful and descriptive language that describes very difficult concepts like soul, community, trust, and those ephemeral feelings of self-understanding and struggle. She also describes the fear and trembling that participants feel in silence, in community, in Clearness Committees, etc., for the first time.
I'm wondering if this book would enhance someone's retreat experience because they would know what to expect...or if it would detract because the bar would be set so high! I don't know...the people in this story make remarkable progress in a very short time...not sure how realistic this is! Have I had life-changing experiences in a circle of trust? Absolutely! Does it happen every time? Not for me...so I wonder about that. Perhaps it would enhance a person's readiness. Perhaps it would encourage them to be as honest, open, and as authentic as possible. And maybe it will broaden the audience for this kind of inner work--that would be a good thing!
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