Home by Marilynne Robinson

This was an interesting read...Melissa lent this book to me...it is the sequel to Gilead which I read several years ago. Both books are lyrical and beautiful; almost poetic in places. The depth with which Robinson describes people and feelings and their interactions is astonishing! And yet...it's also sad and depressing. There's a very dark element to her characters, I would say. I know I didn't understand all of the Biblical and historical allusions... I felt so sad about the main character, Glory, and her brother, Jack, and their father. It was very, very sad the way they kept hurting each  other. There didn't seem to be any way out of it. Jack's lifetime of pain and never "fitting in" to his loving family was painful to read about. And it went on and on and on. I need to talk to Melissa and find out what she thinks about it. The ending was especially sad, and yet all the liner notes say it's a story of redemption. I missed that somehow! I don't think I will tackle this one again...even though there are many subtleties that I know I missed. Just don't want to go down that road again.

And now...about a month later, I think it's beginning to dawn on me what this author is trying to say. That until we truly let go of our expectations, we can't really understand or appreciate people for who they are. Yes, Jack's father loves him. But he cannot let go of his expectations for him. If he could, then maybe Jack would be free to embrace whatever. I think the author believes that others can read our intentions. When our hearts aren't "right," then our motives and interactions with others become deeply suspect. We can't let them be who they need to be. I believe this is true. When we hold the assumption that someone is deficient in some way, and that we have the answer to fill their void, we are in dangerous territory. It's that territory that I think this book is really about. Can we ever love someone unconditionally? I think this father really thought that he wanted his son to be happy. Doesn't every parent want that? But the father only understood one way to be happy. That forced his son to chafe under the relationship. This struggle mirrors my life in so many ways! I am trying to let go of expectations and of viewing others as deficient. Or of thinking that I have answers for them! How absurd! I know the Holy Spirit prompts people and then they can choose to listen or not...but it's up to them. My struggle is to trust that people deserve my respect and unconditional love, not my advice or my approval or my disapproval. When I can be the kind of person I need to be, others can be too. What is amazing about this way of being is that it gives me the greatest happiness I have ever had. Letting go of judgment and fixing and advising is like laying down a very heavy burden. I am lighter in so many ways...I am so grateful for the lessons I'm learning along the way! I have had this realization multiple times and only pray that this time, it sticks.