Bonds that Make Us Free: Healing Our Relationships, Coming to Ourselves by C. Terry Warner

I keep this book handy and refer to it regularly! I need the lessons here and I need to live them better. I recognized myself on page ____ when he describes perfectionism and I hope I've made strides since them! I will add more salient points as time allows...

This, below, is from an online review at Amazon that I thought was right on...

The basic premise of the book is honesty, and being truly honest with yourself--which in turn leads you to be honest in your relationships with others. The result of this honesty is a freedom and happiness that is not affected by your circumstances, no matter what those are. I think a lot of people feel unhappy or dissatisfied or even hopeless about certain relationships in their lives, but they don't realize that since the only person they can control is themselves, the ONLY thing they can do to affect change is to make a change somewhere in their hearts. This book discusses, with lots of helpful examples, how to catch the thought processes and emotions that are making you miserable, and how to stop feeding them. Although making a change in yourself often helps the relationship improve as the other person naturally reacts to your changes, the important thing is how YOU change. Reading this book was like looking at my life through new eyes, seeing things more clearly and through a different perspective--a perspective that made me an active agent in my life, instead of the victim of it.

It's a little frightening to realize how much control you actually have over yourself, because it makes you responsible for your own happiness. That may make you feel defensively angry or guilty, but if you're really ready to be honest with yourself and take on this responsibility, you'll feel humble instead--and then, working on these relationships with a new heart, at peace.