I was delighted when Phil asked Len and me to read this manuscript because I felt like I would learn a lot about Phil. I did! He has spent years working with difficult children and he truly values them and offers unrelenting hope and strategies for changing their future. I want to remember his six relationship skills; he claims that teachers who use all six will empower their learners and provide an emotionally safe environment. There are three for each of these two purposes:
Here are the Empowering Learners skills:
1. Ensuring success
2. Promoting independence
3. Teaching for behavior change
Here are the Emotionally Safe Environment skills:
4. Gentle interventions
5. Logical consequences
6. No punishment
These six form a solid framework for a teacher and for a school. Phil's stories bring each one to life in a very entertaining way.
Please note: THIS HAS NOT YET BEEN PUBLISHED! Hopefully, it will be soon!
Friday, February 22, 2013
Sunday, February 10, 2013
The Return of the Prodigal Son by Henri Nouwen
This slender little volume of only 151 pages is a delight. I have heard Henri Nouwen quoted many times in my Courage & Renewal work, but I had never encountered him directly, in a complete piece of work. This was the perfect place to begin, I think, because it helped me get acquainted with his deep love of God and his musings on the meaning of that in his life. Interestingly, it wasn't through a Courage & Renewal person that I was motivated to read this book. It was at a late summer meeting with author Chuck Schwahn over lunch when we were taking a break from "Mass Customized Learning" ideas, planning, and work that I realized I needed to read this book. Chuck described how Nouwen leads his reader through a spiritual understanding as he "came home" to God through studying and living with Rembrandt's painting, the Prodigal Son. I was intrigued by Chuck's enthusiasm about this book, and, as I've read and pondered it, have gained new understanding of Chuck and what's important to him. I hope this will help me as we work together in the future. I feel it will!
It's a beautiful journey that Nouwen leads us on. He describes the painting (an astonishing 8 ft. by 6 ft.), traces its roots through parts of Rembrandt's life, and describes his own understandings of its meaning over time. It's all based on the biblical account of the Prodigal Son. Nouwen sees himself first as the rebellious, then repentant son; next as the resentful, faithful, older son, and finally as the loving, welcoming father. I love how his understanding of man's agency, God's boundless love, Christ's submission and weakness, and the nature of God as both father and mother coincide with my own beliefs and Mormon doctrine. His insights deepen my beliefs and gratitude.
Now the struggle will be to choose only a few of the choice passages and not to quote the entire book! I will share a few, as a sampling, to help me remember that this is a book to be savored again and again. And it's probably like the scriptures themselves in that each time I read them, they will have a different application to my life and understanding!
From the Prologue, pages 4-5: ...I first encountered Rembrandt's Prodigal Son on the door of Simone's office. My heart leapt when I saw it. After my long and self-exposing journey, the tender embrace of father and son expressed everything I desired at that moment. I was, indeed, the son exhausted from long travels; I wanted to be embraced; I was looking for a home where I could feel safe. The son-come-home was all I was and all that I wanted to be. For so long I had been going from place to place: confronting, beseeching, admonishing, and consoling. Now I desired only to rest safely in a place where I could feel a sense of belonging, a place where I could feel at home....It had brought me into touch with something within me that lies far beyond the ups and downs of a busy life, something that represents the ongoing yearning of the human spirit, the yearning for a final return, an unambiguous sense of safety, a lasting home.
Page 9 - Gradually I realized that there were as many paintings of the Prodigal Son as there were changes in the light, and, for a long time, I was held spellbound by this gracious dance of nature and art.
Page 33-- As I look at the prodigal son kneeling before his father and pressing his face against his chest, I cannot but see there the once so self-confident and venerated artist who has come to the painful realization that all the glory he had gathered for himself proved to be vain glory. Instead of the rich garments with which the youthful Rembrandt painted himself in the brothel, he now wears only a torn undertunic covering his emaciated body, and the sandals, in which he had walked so far, have become worn out and useless.
Moving my eyes from the repentant son to the compassionate father, I see that the glittering light reflecting from golden chains, harnesses, helmets, candles, and hidden lamps has died out and been replaced by the inner light of old age. It is the movement from the glory that seduces one into an ever greater search for wealth and popularity to the glory that is hidden in the human soul and surpasses death.
Page 35--The soft yellow-brown of the son's underclothes looks beautiful when seen in rich harmony of the father's cloak, but the truth of the matter is that the son is dressed in rages that betray the great misery that lies behind him. In the context of a compassionate embrace, our brokenness may appear beautiful, but our brokenness has no other beauty but the beauty that comes from the compassion that surrounds it.
And then Nouwen explains the extreme hurt that would have come to the father given the son's desire to take his inheritance early and leave...it was counter-cultural, and taking this early implied that the son wanted the father dead. These insights deepen the love I feel for the father's joy at his return...
Pages 39-40-- Yet over and over again I have left home. I have fled the hands of blessing and run off to faraway places search for love! This is the great tragedy of my life and of the lives of so many I meet on my journey. Somehow I have become deaf to the voice that calls me the Beloved, have left the only place where I can hear that voice, and have gone off desperately hoping that I would find somewhere else what I could no longer find at home.
At first this sounds simply unbelievable. Why should I leave the place where all I need to hear can be heard? The more I think about this question, the more I realize that the true voice of love is a very soft and gentle voice speaking to me in the most hidden places of my being. It is not a boisterous voice, forcing itslef on me and demanding attention. It is the voice of a nearly blind father who has cried much and died many deaths. It is a voice that coan only be heard by those who allow themselves to be touched.
Page 44--...But the father couldn't compel his son to stay home. He couldn't force his love on the Beloved. He had to let him go in freedom, even though he knew the pain it would cause both his son and himself. It was love itself that prevented him from keeping his son home at all cost. It was love itself that allowed him to let his son find his own life, even with the risk of losing it.
Here the mystery of my life is unveiled. I am loved so much that I am left free to leave home. The blessint is there from the beginning. I have left it and keep on leaving it. But the Father is always looking for me with outstretched arms to receive me back and whisper again in my ear, "You are my Beloved, on you my favor rests."
Page 108 -- The parable of the prodical son is a story that speaks about a love that existed before any rejection was possible and that will still be there after all rejections have taken place. It is the first and everlasting love of a God who is Father as well as Mother. It is the fountain of all true human love, even the most limited. Jesus' whole life and preaching had only one aim: to reveal this inexhaustible, unlimited motherly and fatherly love of his God and to show the way to let that love guide every part of our daily lives. In his painting of the father, Rembrandt offers me a glimpse of that love. It is the love that always welcomes home and always wants to celebrate.
Page 117-- For me it is amazing to experience daily the radical difference between cynicism and joy. Cynics seek darkness wherever they go. They point always to approaching dangers, impure motives, and hidden schemes. They call trust naive, care romantic, and forgiveness sentimental. They sneer at enthusiasm, ridicule spiritual fervor, and despise charismatic behavior. They consider themselves realists who see reality for what it truly is and who are not deceived by "escapist emotions." But in belittling God's joy, their darkness only calls forth more darkness.
People who have come to know the joy of God do not deny the darkness, but they choose not to live in it. They claim that the light that shines in the darkness can be trusted more than the darkness itself and that a little bit of light can dispel a lot of darkness. They point each other to flashes of light here and there, and remind each other that they reveal the hidden but real presence of God. They discover that there are pople who heal each other's wounds, forgive each other's offenses, share their possessions, foster the spirit of community, celebrate the gifts they have received, and live in constant anticipation of the full manifestation of God's glory.
Every moment of each day I have the chance to choose between cynicism and joy. Every thought I have can be cynical or joyful...Increasingly I am aware of all these possible choices, and increasintly I discover that every choice for joy in turn reveals more joy and offers more reason to make life a true celebration in the house of the Father.
It's a beautiful journey that Nouwen leads us on. He describes the painting (an astonishing 8 ft. by 6 ft.), traces its roots through parts of Rembrandt's life, and describes his own understandings of its meaning over time. It's all based on the biblical account of the Prodigal Son. Nouwen sees himself first as the rebellious, then repentant son; next as the resentful, faithful, older son, and finally as the loving, welcoming father. I love how his understanding of man's agency, God's boundless love, Christ's submission and weakness, and the nature of God as both father and mother coincide with my own beliefs and Mormon doctrine. His insights deepen my beliefs and gratitude.
Now the struggle will be to choose only a few of the choice passages and not to quote the entire book! I will share a few, as a sampling, to help me remember that this is a book to be savored again and again. And it's probably like the scriptures themselves in that each time I read them, they will have a different application to my life and understanding!
From the Prologue, pages 4-5: ...I first encountered Rembrandt's Prodigal Son on the door of Simone's office. My heart leapt when I saw it. After my long and self-exposing journey, the tender embrace of father and son expressed everything I desired at that moment. I was, indeed, the son exhausted from long travels; I wanted to be embraced; I was looking for a home where I could feel safe. The son-come-home was all I was and all that I wanted to be. For so long I had been going from place to place: confronting, beseeching, admonishing, and consoling. Now I desired only to rest safely in a place where I could feel a sense of belonging, a place where I could feel at home....It had brought me into touch with something within me that lies far beyond the ups and downs of a busy life, something that represents the ongoing yearning of the human spirit, the yearning for a final return, an unambiguous sense of safety, a lasting home.
Page 9 - Gradually I realized that there were as many paintings of the Prodigal Son as there were changes in the light, and, for a long time, I was held spellbound by this gracious dance of nature and art.
Page 33-- As I look at the prodigal son kneeling before his father and pressing his face against his chest, I cannot but see there the once so self-confident and venerated artist who has come to the painful realization that all the glory he had gathered for himself proved to be vain glory. Instead of the rich garments with which the youthful Rembrandt painted himself in the brothel, he now wears only a torn undertunic covering his emaciated body, and the sandals, in which he had walked so far, have become worn out and useless.
Moving my eyes from the repentant son to the compassionate father, I see that the glittering light reflecting from golden chains, harnesses, helmets, candles, and hidden lamps has died out and been replaced by the inner light of old age. It is the movement from the glory that seduces one into an ever greater search for wealth and popularity to the glory that is hidden in the human soul and surpasses death.
Page 35--The soft yellow-brown of the son's underclothes looks beautiful when seen in rich harmony of the father's cloak, but the truth of the matter is that the son is dressed in rages that betray the great misery that lies behind him. In the context of a compassionate embrace, our brokenness may appear beautiful, but our brokenness has no other beauty but the beauty that comes from the compassion that surrounds it.
And then Nouwen explains the extreme hurt that would have come to the father given the son's desire to take his inheritance early and leave...it was counter-cultural, and taking this early implied that the son wanted the father dead. These insights deepen the love I feel for the father's joy at his return...
Pages 39-40-- Yet over and over again I have left home. I have fled the hands of blessing and run off to faraway places search for love! This is the great tragedy of my life and of the lives of so many I meet on my journey. Somehow I have become deaf to the voice that calls me the Beloved, have left the only place where I can hear that voice, and have gone off desperately hoping that I would find somewhere else what I could no longer find at home.
At first this sounds simply unbelievable. Why should I leave the place where all I need to hear can be heard? The more I think about this question, the more I realize that the true voice of love is a very soft and gentle voice speaking to me in the most hidden places of my being. It is not a boisterous voice, forcing itslef on me and demanding attention. It is the voice of a nearly blind father who has cried much and died many deaths. It is a voice that coan only be heard by those who allow themselves to be touched.
Page 44--...But the father couldn't compel his son to stay home. He couldn't force his love on the Beloved. He had to let him go in freedom, even though he knew the pain it would cause both his son and himself. It was love itself that prevented him from keeping his son home at all cost. It was love itself that allowed him to let his son find his own life, even with the risk of losing it.
Here the mystery of my life is unveiled. I am loved so much that I am left free to leave home. The blessint is there from the beginning. I have left it and keep on leaving it. But the Father is always looking for me with outstretched arms to receive me back and whisper again in my ear, "You are my Beloved, on you my favor rests."
Page 108 -- The parable of the prodical son is a story that speaks about a love that existed before any rejection was possible and that will still be there after all rejections have taken place. It is the first and everlasting love of a God who is Father as well as Mother. It is the fountain of all true human love, even the most limited. Jesus' whole life and preaching had only one aim: to reveal this inexhaustible, unlimited motherly and fatherly love of his God and to show the way to let that love guide every part of our daily lives. In his painting of the father, Rembrandt offers me a glimpse of that love. It is the love that always welcomes home and always wants to celebrate.
Page 117-- For me it is amazing to experience daily the radical difference between cynicism and joy. Cynics seek darkness wherever they go. They point always to approaching dangers, impure motives, and hidden schemes. They call trust naive, care romantic, and forgiveness sentimental. They sneer at enthusiasm, ridicule spiritual fervor, and despise charismatic behavior. They consider themselves realists who see reality for what it truly is and who are not deceived by "escapist emotions." But in belittling God's joy, their darkness only calls forth more darkness.
People who have come to know the joy of God do not deny the darkness, but they choose not to live in it. They claim that the light that shines in the darkness can be trusted more than the darkness itself and that a little bit of light can dispel a lot of darkness. They point each other to flashes of light here and there, and remind each other that they reveal the hidden but real presence of God. They discover that there are pople who heal each other's wounds, forgive each other's offenses, share their possessions, foster the spirit of community, celebrate the gifts they have received, and live in constant anticipation of the full manifestation of God's glory.
Every moment of each day I have the chance to choose between cynicism and joy. Every thought I have can be cynical or joyful...Increasingly I am aware of all these possible choices, and increasintly I discover that every choice for joy in turn reveals more joy and offers more reason to make life a true celebration in the house of the Father.
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