Sunday, September 30, 2012

Wonder by R.J. Palacio

This book is about a fifth grader named August. He is called "Auggie" for short, and of course I had to order it when it had mostly five-star reviews on Amazon. Plus, our Gabriel is a fifth grader, and his middle name is Augustus, and Len calls him "Augie" when he cheers for him in sports. Too many connections to ignore! I also ordered a copy for my sister Ann, and thought she would enjoy reading it to her 4th graders in California. I haven't talked to her yet to find out what she thought of it, but I think it's a winner of a book.

First of all, this story is about kindness. And who doesn't need lessons in kindness? And it is about August's struggle to be seen as a person, and not a freak. He was born with a double genetic disorder that has disfigured his face. It was fascinating to see the world through his eyes, particularly when people recoil from his appearance. I really liked the author's approach to telling August's story through multiple viewpoints, including his friends at school and his sister. It's also a very current book, revealing a fifth grader's world of school, assignments, friends, lunch in the cafeteria, texting, and urban life.

It's a very moving story, where my feelings for August and his struggles were awakened. He describes his feelings very eloquently, particularly his feelings of triumph. I think this book would be a captivating read-aloud for a class and it would certainly spark great discussions about seeing "others" versus seeing real people, about kindness and knowing who you are, about growing up too fast, about family support, about making wise choices, gossip, and many other relevant-to-young-people themes. It would also be interesting for a teacher to discuss the feeling of unity that came about in August's class. It could show the benefits and joy of a group of students who learn to appreciate each other. Rich material indeed for today's kids...and today's adults as well!

Thursday, September 13, 2012

Change or Die by Alan Deutschman



Len and I studied this book together in order to present a session on CHANGE at the Systems Change Conference in Chamberlain the Fall of 2012. 
   
 Deutschman says there are three steps we follow when we made significant behavior change.  The first one, and the most important, centers on motivation...(I think Len copied these notes from a review.)

Step 1. You form a new emotional relationship with a person or community that inspires and sustains hope. It is an emotional relationship with a mentor or a community of people who sustain you, and move you toward hope and inspire you. They restore your hope, and believe you can change. They expect your best, and make you think you can do it.                                                                                              

Deutschman says, “If you face a situation that a reasonable person would consider ‘hopeless,’ you need the influence of seemingly ‘unreasonable’ people to restore your hope- to make you believe that you can change and expect that you will change. This is an act of persuasion- really, it's ‘selling.’  The leader or community has to sell you on your self and make you believe you have the ability to change. They have to sell you on themselves as your partners, mentors, role models, or sources of new knowledge. And they have to sell you on the specific methods or strategies that they employ.”

 Step 2. The new relationship helps you learn, practice, and master the new habits and skills that you'll need. The new relationship helps you learn, practice, and master the new habits and skills you'll need. It takes a lot of repetition overtime before new patterns of behavior become automatic and seem natural – until you act the new way without even thinking about it. It helps tremendously to have a good teacher, coach, or mentor to give you guidance, encouragement, and direction along the way. Change doesn't involve just ‘selling,’ it requires ‘training.’"


 Step 3.  The new relationship helps you learn new ways of thinking about your situation and your life.
Ultimately, you look at the world in a way that wouldn't have made any sense before you changed.  When we have learned new habits and skills (Step #2) they now "inform our new ways of thinking."

The Myths of Change...
In addition to his three steps for changing our lives, Deutschman believes there are three myths about motivation.  He believes there are three methods that do not motivate people.  They are fear, facts, and force.

Here are some additional notes that we developed into a reminder sheet: (Similar to that above, only using some "reminder" words.
Three steps for change...

1. RELATE
You form a new emotional relationship with a person or community that inspires and sustains hope.
If you face a situation that a reasonable person would consider "hopeless," you need the influence of seemingly "unreasonable" people to restore your hope- to make you believe that you can change and expect that you will change. This is an act of persuasion- really, it's "selling." The leader or community has to sell you on your self and make you believe you have the ability to change. They have to sell you on themselves as your partners, mentors, role models, or sources of new knowledge. And they have to sell you on the specific methods or strategies that they employ.

2. REPEAT
The new relationship helps you learn, practice, and master the new habits and skills that you'll need. The new relationship helps you learn, practice, and master the new habits and skills you'll need. It takes a lot of repetition overtime before new patterns of behavior become automatic and seem natural – until you act the new way without even thinking about it. It helps tremendously to have a good teacher, coach, or mentor to give you guidance, encouragement, and direction along the way. Change doesn't involve just "selling"; it
requires "training."

3. REFRAME
 The new relationship helps you learn new ways of thinking about your situation and your life. Ultimately, you look at the world in a way that wouldn't have made any sense before you changed.  When we have learned new habits and skills (Key #2) they "inform new ways of thinking."